yep. i am one of those people who don't know how to let go. for some, this is actually a good thing. well, not for me. aquarians are known for being loyal. i guess, i always try to see the good side of a person. In my case though, i end up looking at the good side even if there's actually none. Or maybe, i saw it once and thought hey, i know i'm gonna see that again. I watch The Hoilday about 2 weeks ago and there's a good explanation why i am attracted to bad boys.
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Iris: Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she(in my case, he) does something that tells you she's(he's) no good, you ignore it. And every time she(he) comes through and suprises you, she(he) wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's(he's) not for you.

Miles: Exactly, and on top of that there's the old standby, I can't believe a girl(guy) like that would actually be with a guy (girl) like me.
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This means i don't value myself because again, i'm settling. I need to learn to let go. Some things are really not or will never be what i think they are. Some things are not for me and there's a good explanation why. But i don't have to know it yet. There is a bigger plan for me. i should believe there is.

my goal is to make my life simple. I really don't need to complicate things anymore. i can't be intimate with him again and say to myself that i'm just using him because in reality, men and women can't be intimate and not have strings attached to it. yep, both sexes. Although we all pretend we can do it. Men don't do it well and women are worse.

i have the same problem for ten years now. I have to put a stop to this. I don't want to celebrate my 30th birthday having the same problem and that's 10 months from now. i sure have given it more than enough time. If it's really meant to happen, it would've happened a long time ago. there is no hope on this one.