it's true what they all say: lessons are repeated unless learned. and i as a teacher i should know this by heart, if i have a heart. i don't even remember when i started being such a bitch. i don't remember planning it. it's as if i woke up one day and told myself, "well, why should i be good today?". i think i had my share of knowing people who took advantage of me, some i'm still with. And it's hard when you have been sheltered all your life. My parents tried sooo much to protect me from getting hurt. I remember not being able to play with dirt when i was young, or buying us (my sis) stuff we like to replace not having a father at home (my dad was always working abroad). i remember my mom asking ronald to take care of me when we left manila 3 years ago. or my mom asking paeng why we broke up when we did. but there will come a point in your life when you could only depend on yourself, when you could only trust yourself. It's been proven: people change. I changed. i had to because i needed to cope and adapt to everybody else's changing. i love my life now. it's not perfect,of course. Somehow having a little angst is making me a better person. i don't have to hide anything,i did some good things and bad things in my life. And i'm okay. I can still sleep at night. I don't want to be pressured to please anybody. I'm a bitch but i'm sure not yours!