i guess i really just had to confirm whatever doubts i had...ok, moment of truth...paeng is saying byebye..this is probably his most subtle way of saying, "marj it's time to move on"...yup, no more i love you's...it started in his emails about a week ago...instead of reading the usual i love you mwah...he had- love, paeng...to some people this might sound weird but i don't know, something tells me that this is IT...then about 20 minutes ago, just to check 'cause i am still on my denial phase ,i heard, ok...mwah..just plain MWAH...ok pathetic na kung pathetic...kakanuod lang kse namin ni nald ng little black book...did you know that that movie doesn't have a happy ending? i mean, when it ended she finally got the job she wanted and met the singer that inspired her but SHE DIDN'T END UP WITH ANY GUY! and Nald told me na i will like the movie...tangna, it scared the shit out of me! maganda raw kse makakrelate ako pero the moral of the story is simply WALANG GUY SA BUHAY? i always think of myself as a self-sufficient kind of girl but i am pretty sure that i need a guy in my life...there are things that my girlfriends or gayfriends can't give me(aside from the thing that you are probably thinking of right now)...
so how did saying and hearing i love you have affected my life...
1. it is an assurance of an active feeling of love...although pag mashado nang gasgas, mukha ng routine
2. corny pero it brightens up my day..after makipagbunuan sa estudyante buong araw all i want is to hear that at least one person na di ko kadugo still cares for me.
3. it is a privilege...di lahat ng tao nasasabihan nun ha...
4. it is a proof na after i thought i did a lot of bad things before, i still managed to do something right..somehow
5. confident ako mangaway..kse khet kaaway ko na lahat, someone still loves me.
6. it makes me proud...specially when you're in a public place
7. it makes me want to go home

ngayon, i am a rude person who hangs out with a gay guy, an exhausted teacher that doesn't have a life after work, the oldest 27-year old in the world (form jerry mguirre), an unappreciated friend, vulnerable and on the rebound, an exgirlfriend struggling to forget the past, and of course, a lost and hard-to-guide soul.