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boredominating
just thinking loud again
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
losers don't quit
i really promised myself that 2005 should be my first non-smoking year. I 've been wanting to quit smoking since the day my boyfriend told me quite bluntly that kissing me is like kissing an ashtray. I know that is true sometimes and honestly I don't want to kiss guys who smoke. Yup I'm a hypocrite. Then Paeng also told me that he will never take care of me if I will have lung cancer in the future because it was my choice to smoke. Yeah i know it's pretty rude to say that but he has a point, right?
It's been 4 days since I last had a taste of marlboro lights. During the first day, I kept myself busy to forget about the urge to puff. I had a flight that day, went to target, cleaned my room, etc. I went to bed at around 5 am. The second day was just easy and it went too fast especially because I was busy preparing grades. On the third day(yesterday), I didn't know what to do or expect. Classes resumed yesterday and usually during my planning hour(3rd) I would go to the janitors' room to smoke. I started my day early and I was in school 10 minutes before seven. I looked for Jamie since I missed her sooo much and where did I find her? At the janitors' room smoking of course. So we were there, I told her I quit smoking and she is supportive about it. SHe was expecting though that I will be there (janitors' room) during 3rd hour to smoke. I didn't. Before the end of my second hour class I was already feeling the desire to have nicotine but I just ate peanuts and drank coke in my room. I did some work too and was productive during my planning hour yesterday.The fourth day (today) is like the second day except when rissa told me that she wants to drink coffee and smoke outside. At first she thought that would make me want to smoke but I told her it helps me get used to doing the same things and not make a big deal out of quitting the habit. So I had coffee while she puffed right in front of me. We had a great time and I was ok.
So maybe you're wondering where my cigarettes and lighters are...I threw them all away. All lighters in my bag, all cigarettes, everything. I even left my last pack of lights in my dad's place. I really want to quit.
What changes do I feel now that I have not been smoking? There's quite a few:
a) I feel confident about hugging people now especially in my workplace. I used to worry that they would smell my cigarette smoke when I do that.
b) Since I am not worried about that odor, I now just wear my perfume once a day. This helps me conserve my last bottle of Tommy girl.
c)My lips are turning pink and I really noticed that this morning. They are also less dry and softer.
d)Everytime I wake up I don't feel that heavy weight on my chest. I used to have this feeling that someone is sitting on top of my chest, that's how much it used to hurt. Now, it is gone.
e)I used to wake up every morning having that taste of cigarette even if I brushed my teeth the previous night. Now, my toothpaste is working.
f) I work more now. I never realized how much I procrastinate before when I was still smoking until now. I always have time to smoke but never to finish what I really have to do. So now I even have time to cook adobo!
g) I sleep better now. I feel calm and relaxed every morning.

Wow! I have seen these things already and it's only been 4 days...Exagg ba? o eno ngayon? BAsta ok lang ako.
2 Comments:
Blogger Spotsky D' Rotsky said...
hello buddhee! glad that you finally found the urge to quit smoking. but you shouldnt be doing it to please paeng or other people, do it for yourself. for your health. you wouldnt want to miss seeing your kids (little marjs and paengs) grow up, right?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
oo naman..basically i'm doing this for myself. May mga nagtrigger nga lang...hay sana talaga makayanan ko...pede kaya isang stick sa bday ko? joke lang