boredominating

marked!

2009-05-03T11:18:00.003-05:00

anoderbidyu

2009-03-03T23:05:00.003-06:00

huwalalangmazabeh

2009-02-04T20:49:00.003-06:00

it's mah birthday!

2009-01-24T20:57:00.002-06:00

my life update

2009-01-18T11:18:00.004-06:00

Christmas was extra special this year because I was with my special someone. Who would have thought that us crossing each other's paths was even possible? I was happy and special and I have never felt those feelings in a long time. Does it have a happy ending? Of course not! It ended before I even got back in school. This is just too difficult to handle, a lot of issues plus at that time, I really didn't know what I want and both of us are too paranoid to even pursue it. Now, we're friends and see each other every day. It was a good experience though, to find out that I am still capable of loving. It made me feel mortal. hahaha! This might be the most shockingly absurd experience I have ever had.
Now I'm still going on with my life. My national board stuff has been bugging me for months now and I really think it's time to just sit and write something for it. That will hopefully happen tomorrow. Then, I'm taking the last few classes I have for my master's degree and hopefully, I could graduate this september. I am sooooo tired of doing this and hopefully next time I'll remember that online classes are no joke. Writing papers every week and answering discussion questions have been consuming my weekend for the last year. I really want my weekends back. Lastly, I have online teaching that will hopefully start this spring. That, I cannot even talk about right now. So in the event that I breakdown or something, you know what caused it.
I have postponed my trip to the Philippines to 2010 because I really want to finish school this summer. I am hoping that either mom or Marie can visit me during christmas of this year. Yup, I'm still hoping that it will work out this year.
For the most part, working too much is stressful yet rewarding. I love to work because it gives me security. I also feel like in everything I do, I learn a lot of things about me, my job or the world in general.
It's a week before my 31st birthday and I don't even know if I'm going to be happy that day. I wish I could spend it with people that I love. I don't want it to be an ordinary day like I did New year's day. There are a lot of things I am thankful for and I'm just grateful that I am living my life to the fullest.

2008 Evaluation of my effing life

2009-01-04T21:55:00.002-06:00

Biggest achievement: buying my first house

Biggest regret: not being the best teacher that I could be because my attention was divided.
Lowest moment: Dec. 31, 2008

Best lesson learned: If it doesn't involve me, it's not my problem.

Favorite lines this year: Got it!

Best gift received last year: jessica simpson clutch. it's fierce and i dont even like jessica simpson

Worst gift received last year: yoko baka mabasa

Best gift I gave last year: all of them.

Worst gift I gave last year: Boxers. Hehe! wala akong maisip eh.

Worst trip last year: Mu sigma trip. I had fun with my students, though.

Best trip: Miami, Florida

Most interesting person I met last year: Ate Wani

Best drink: water.

Most embarrassing moment: When I had a stain during one of my gym workout sessions. I saw it, they didn't.

Biggest crush last year: ay naku. who is also my greatest love last year that ended after a week.

The trait that you improved the most: accepting the truth

The trait that worsened: wanting what is not for me to have

Wish you had last year: an FJ Cruiser

Wish you didn't have last year: Bills to pay, Debts to endure

Happiest moment last year: christmas night.

Most expensive thing bought last year: my first house
Cheapest thing bought last year: VS sensual stuff. they were 75 percent off

Wish that came true last year: finding and knowing what I want

Wish you said last year: We can work it out.

Wish you didnt say last year: You don't know me or my friends.

daddy's thanksgiving makeover

2009-01-04T21:03:00.004-06:00

my first house

2009-01-04T14:54:00.008-06:00

So after 5 years of renting, I finally decided to buy a house. And what better time to buy one than during recession! The interest is lower and I just thought I'm ready to do this. The first time I asked about this house, my realtor told me I couldn't afford it. So after I fired her, the asking price for this became affordable.
Living here by myself during the first few days wasn't at all easy but I was blessed enough to have home warranty. So, ito na ang pinakahihintay na pictures.

summer vacation

2008-07-25T01:17:00.070-05:00

obviously i didn't waste any time. Just two days after my summer gig, my friends and I decided to drive to florida and officially start my summer vacation. And was it a lot of driving! We left bastrop around 6:30 p.m. and was around tampa at 10 am. GPS was a big help except when it broke on the way to miami. These are the pictures of my best vacation so far.

When love finds its way

2008-06-17T15:36:00.000-05:00

Just when you told yourself that you’ll never trust anyone again, you find someone who’d change how you see things. I like it that I didn’t expect it to happen. God really knows how to surprise me. Before this, I have always questioned why my decisions lead me to things that really don’t make sense to me. Now I know. Now they make a lot of sense.
It is funny how the person I’ve been waiting for is a combination of the personalities of the people I have dated in the past. No compromises and not a lot of effort on this one. It is just right for me. And for the first time, I don’t feel guilty that this person is quite perfect for me. For the first time, I know that I deserve to be happy with this person.
I know it’s only perfect until we get to the first fight. I would like to think that I am wiser in handling this by now. I would like to think that the person I’m with knows how to make me feel okay when we fight. That it is not the end and fights are normal to couples. I don’t want to pre-empt anything but I feel that this person can handle my mood swings.
In any of my relationships, I have always feared my friends’ reaction to the person I am with. Not that it has always bothered me but it has always been difficult for me to balance my time and attention between my friends and my mate. It is really comforting that I know my friends will not object to this relationship.
My parents never ask me about whom I am dating and they just hear about them when it is over. I haven’t really told anyone in my family but I know that they know I’ve waited so long to be happy. I am over the fact that my family is not perfect. I don’t think it is right to blame my parents for my bad relationships. I made the bad decisions, I made the wrong choices.
And who would’ve thought that love and work will coexist in my life? This just proves that the right person always comes in the right time. Time is not even an issue. When you know that you have a lifetime to spend together, you don’t have to be together every minute of the day.
I don’t know where this is going but I know where we both want it to go.

Why buying a house is better than getting married

2008-05-30T17:48:00.000-05:00

1. No extravagant celebrations needed when you decide to buy a house.
2. As a buyer, you have the right to inspect the house however you want to be very, very sure of your decision. You hope and pray that he is the right one during your wedding day.
3. It is less embarrassing when you back out. You don’t have to return gifts.
4. Divorce takes half of your assets. Reselling a house can make you richer.
5. You can always fix an ugly house if you are rich. A bad marriage is a bad marriage.
6. You can have more parties when you have a house. Less parties to none when you are married.
7. You can choose the size of the house that you want. Love is blind.
8. A house may be used as collateral to get a loan. Your spouse, I don’t think so.
9. You can go to a realtor and she’ll give you what you want. Before marriage, you ask God for signs.
10. Freedom versus responsibilities.

new hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-30T16:59:00.001-05:00

mu sigma trip 2008

2008-05-30T02:22:00.014-05:00

Connecticut Dec 2007

2008-05-25T16:10:00.003-05:00

My Favorites

2008-05-25T15:40:00.004-05:00

My favorite song was “Search is Over”
Not because of its lyrics and sound
But because of what I remember-
Your song when our love was found

My favorite game was “Civilization” in pc
Not because it’s complicated and fun
But because you were playing it with me
Up until we see the morning sun

My favorite food was “Japanese”
Though it was not cooked or too tasty
You were such a crazy and fun tease
Being with you made life so darn easy

My favorite language was “Espan ̃ol”
Though I couldn’t speak nor write it
Listening to you made me really fall
Deeply down into your love pit

They are not what I like anymore
Coz now each brings back sad memories
Of when you walked out of the door
Left and took away my favorites.

2008-02-18T04:54:00.002-06:00

And I'm back! I don't even know where to start but i know there's been a lot of changes these past few months. I really tried to start this year right. I took all the bad things that happened last year and left them in my old house. I am so over it! I don't know, I guess people just don't get me. I know I am not perfect but it feels weird to realize that I had more friends then when I was uber bad. anyway...im trying to be good now or at least im too busy to even try to cause trouble.
2007 EVALUATION

Biggest achievement: Getting over an exboyfriend and an exgayfriend

Biggest regret: Not being in the Philippines during christmas when my dad was there

Lowest moment: June 8, 2007

Best lesson learned: When in doubt, don't.

Favorite lines this year: gay said, Is there a problem, _________?

Best gift received last: vacuum cleaner

Worst gift received last year: wala syang niregalo this year eh....

Best gift I gave last year: A Honda Accord for my mom

Worst gift I gave last year: Underwear pasalubong for my friends and family when I went to the pinas. My mom liked them,though.

Worst trip last year: Florida. It's where all the craziness started.

Best trip: Connecticut. Tita monsie and tito boy were soooooooooo nice to me. That's why I'll be there again this july.

Most interesting person I met last year: Cousin Warren-first we jived and even smoked together then before I left, he stopped talking to me.

Best drink: Bacardi strawberry and Arizona green tea with honey and ginseng ( not in one glass).

Most embarrassing moment: hmm...putting ghetto xmas lights. my friends will never forgive me for doing that and I havent taken them off the tree yet!

Biggest crush last year: yuck, this is sooo gradeschool!

The trait that you improved the most: telling the truth

The trait that worsened: being patient

Wish you had last year: A gun

Wish you didn't have last year: Conscience

Happiest moment last year: seeing my mom, my sister and friends in the philippines. Moe's shower party.

Most expensive thing bought last year: car for mommy

Cheapest thing bought last year: less than 3 dollar shirt from belk. And I love it!

Wish that came true last year: having my peace and finally fighting back

Wish you said last year: I hope that _________makes you happy like I do.

Wish you didnt say last year: sorry to those who didnt deserve it.

i like this song

2007-11-18T14:16:00.000-06:00

"Like You'll Never See Me Again"

If I had no more time
No more time left to be here
Would you cherish what we had?
Was it everything that you were looking for?
If I couldn't feel your touch
And no longer were you with me
I'd be wishing you were here
To be everything that I'd be looking for
I don't wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don't wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
'Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed

So every time you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you'll never see me again
Every time you touch me
Touch me like this is the last time
Promise that you'll love me
Love me like you'll never see me again

Oh Oh Ohhhhh

How many really know what love is?
No you never will
Do you know until you lose it
That it's everything that we are looking for
When I wake up in the morning
You're beside me
I'm so thankful that I found
Everything that I been looking for

I don't wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don't wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
'Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed

So everytime you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you'll never see me again
(can you do that for me baby)
Every time you touch me
(see we don't really know)
Touch me like this is the last time
(see everyday we never know)
Promise that you'll love me
(I want you to promise me)
Love me like you'll never see me again
(like you'll never see me again)

Ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh

some pics

2007-08-26T16:19:00.001-05:00

my marjtrix pa rin. nope im not changing my car yet....i love it. maybe in 2009...

the backyard. there used to be 8 dogs in here.....

side view of my favorite part of the house...my mom will be proud of my curtains (i mean, her curtains)! my printer is somewhere in that pic, a priceless possession. then that white bin is where i put the papers i have to check everyday. i'll try to take a pic of this part later today, the last one was blurry.

another blurry pic. this is my dining area. dining chairs -10 dollars, dining table- free, table cloth -3 dollars, placemats --2 dollars each.... eating here....pricelss.

sink and microwave area. i have a dishwasher, that too is priceless.

where cooking happens. although the appliances are old, i like the way they did the kitchen.

my fridge magnets and pictures....hala wala akong pic ni mommy dito, lagot!

my bedroom. no tv, just an ipod speaker on the right side of the bed. my reading lamp and a cosmo magazine on the side before i go to bed. di pala kita yung ipod player! pahiya ako.

closet in my room. i dont put a lot of clothes in here. my pants are folded on the top. my belts are there and some shoes.

dressing room. this is where my big bagahes are, make up stuff and clothes. ang gulo noh! yup, thats how i like it....joke, di lang ako naglinis ok? usually maayos yan pero this is how it looks after one week of working....chaotic!

clothes, shoes, etc. this is where the chaos begins every morning.

guest room. yuck, wala namang guests..heheheh! sayang di naabutan nina moe tong bed na to....hiram lang to ok?

me of course. i think this was taken last weekend. may pimple ako na red sa ilong! hahaha!

some pics

2007-08-26T16:19:00.000-05:00

home trip 2007

2007-08-09T05:35:00.000-05:00

I've been back here in the States for almost a week now and I really haven't blogged about my recent trip to the Philippines. I will summarize my whole trip using 4 B's---Bakasyon, Business, Break-up Blues and Buy a Car.
Bakasyon:
I was so amazed with all the new malls in the Philippines namely Trinoma, The Block, MOA. They are very different from the SM malls I got used to when I was a kid. There is a good sense of architecture in most of them and they're not just like a big box with stalls. They also have better brands and bigger sizes in terms of clothes. Yup, I bought a lot of them. For the most part, I enjoyed it. One can never go wrong with shopping.
Business:
I met tita mel through my best pal MJ. She makes all the native accessories in most of the malls in the Philippines. Before July, my sis and I were thinking of the same business for me here in the states. So when i met her one could just imagine how happy I was. Yup, I am starting a business of accessories here. It will be big, I can feel it.

Break-up Blues:
Hay, the never-ending story about the pink table of my life! I think i got it now, hopefully its final this time. Hello new guy! The thing is, I think the only reason that stops me from being with a guy is the fear of marrying him. Yup, fear. But i can go on have dates, right? My goal this year is to have dates, meet interesting people. This is the sweetest revenge ever. to the left, to the left....

Buy a car:
Mommy's got a new car, what can I say? It's really not a New car, its just a more modern (relative to our other vehicles), secondhand car---a pure white Honda Civic 2001 A/T. I am proud and happy. Giving back to my parents a little surprise every now and then makes me feel good, makes me feel that my work here is relevant.

I have been here since friday and for the first time, I am really having a bad jet lag. It's 5:57 am now and im still blogging. I went to bed at 1 am and then i had a bad dream so i decided to get up and call my dad. I dreamed that I crashed my car on my way home from silver's house, lost consciousness and when i woke up, i saw my ruined car. I felt so bad because I loved my car. Anyway, it was just a bad dream. Maybe my car is telling me something: I need to clean it.heheh! Actually, Jackie bought a new Silverado and Silver is planning to get one too. And since i saw that Blue Toyota FJ last week, I have been dreaming of trading off my car. But now, NO! I still love my yellow car. It never game me problems plus im almost done paying it off. 2009, I will be totally debt-free! And then i will buy a nice condo unit in makati for investment.that's the plan.

My former principal is now the Superintendent in our district and I am so disappointed with what's happening in our school lately. That sure is a bad start. To be fair, the bad part only started today when meetings did not go the way they're supposed to. All of a sudden they had to make an executive decision of cancelling everything. At least we had time to go to our rooms and clean up which i did. I was also able to see my doctor for a medical exam and eat with my friends. The best part of my day is when while i was cleaning I was called to the office by my administrator. I went to the main office all sweaty and found a parent waiting for me. When she told me she's a parent, I almost choked. i was thinking that I have another complaint for failing another student because she wasnt at all smiling when she saw me. She said," are you Ms. Manuel?" and I said yes ( althought i thought about lying). She then said," I am the mother of Jaimie, you taught her over the summer and I would just like to let you know that I appreciate you because she passed the test last June. She talks about you all the time and tells me how you make Math easy for her". She was teary-eyed when she told me this and I was too.I was shocked that she went to my high school and told me this. That was a first and I get goosebumps just thinking about it. To those of you who dont know, i teach in the junior high every summer. they are the ones who failed their standardized test and have less than a month to review and pass it. i teach in the high school so the kids whom i teach in the summer have no idea who i am. honestly, I am aware that nobody wants to work there in the summer because it is a lot harder than your work the whole year at least in terms of behavioral problems. I even requested to teach fourth graders last summer but was not given the chance to because nobody will teach in the junior high. I was upset when i started and got even more upset when i saw the class sizes were bigger than what i had all year in the high school! i emailed the superintendent about giving me a paraprofessional and the following day, he did. I worked hard last summer, no yosi breaks, because i was working with ronald and i didnt want to bond with him. yeah, I liked that I did work hard and now I feel better that someone appreciates it. If they only knew what I went through personally during the most part of summer school, they wouldn't believe it. Now, if I could just remember jaime's face.....well, she'll be in the high school this year so i might see her. mY alarm just went on. That means I have two more snoozes left. hehee! I hope I could last today and not feel sleepy or tired. so officially, I love my job. I knew I was here for a greater reason.

please shop here

2007-05-08T23:35:00.001-05:00

http://www.krymus.com/3772-mmanuel

i am blessed

2007-05-06T23:57:00.000-05:00

these are my students during the physics trip in six flags this year

this week has been great. first of all,let me tell you the i had the shock of my life when my dog vava had puppies. I didn't even know she was pregnant. i didn't even know she had her period already. this is how it happened and even until now i feel like crying hwenever i think about it. Thursday is tutoring day which means i have to saty in school an extra hour. As soon as it was over and was about to leave, the rain started pouring so hard so i stayed inside the school with Kat. When it was better, i decided to go to my car and drive home. The first thing i did was to open my door so vava could get in. She did and she stayed in the laundry room because i had a meeting with the missionaries at 5:10 that afternoon somewhere else. After that i decided to go to monroe and get my fon but it was still raining so hard i could barely see the road so i just turned around after 15 minutes of driving. when i got home, vava was wanting to go out of the laundry room so i let her out. i let the glass door open. when vava came in, she had a puppy with her and she put them in her bed in the laundry room. i was in shock because i thought it wasn't even a puppy but something else. Then i could hear more crying so i just left the door open and man, one by one she got them and put them in the laundry room. i feel helpless because the whole time i was just in shock and in a state of denial. i even thought to myself that maybe, vava was helping another dog and she will also get the mother. i was so proud because vava got all of them, 8 all in all.7 survived.i had to call my friends jackie and silver to help me because needless to say, i really didnt know what to do. Hopefully i dont get too attached to them because i don't know how i could afford to have that many dogs. Again,im a proud granny of 7. Thanks Jackie and Silver.
the second one is about work. I applied as a mu sigma sponsor and i know nobody else did so i think i know i'm going to have it. This would mean that i will not have a physics trip anymore because it will demand a lot of my time. The good news is, instead of having a field trip in texas,i will be with the seniors every year and have a cross country trip that includes New York. This means i could see my friend trish every year. I am excited because i think i will talk to my principal about this later. The only thing that discourages me aside from too much work is that i have to give up my spring break every year because that's when they have the trip. I am nervous that my principal would think that I am too young for the position, though. But i can always argue with him on that issue and i know nobody else wants to take it so i will win by default. hehe!
Next news: monday i didn't go to school because i thought i needed a break after the physics trip and the literary rally before that. I went to the school board to talk to some people about the papers i will need for my upcoming Philippine vacation. Since i was there early i decided to go to mrs. Peterson's office because i never got the chance to visit the people in there this year because Mrs. Peterson retired last year. They were the people who helped us with everything when we first got here so i thought i should visit them and show that i still have time for them. I talked to Mrs. Debbie about wanting to go back to school and that i have always told my principal about that but they never have a budget for me since i am certified already. they only have funds for those who are trying to be certified. she said she don't make those decisions but the closest thing that she could offer me is the take one class. This is the class that you take to help you in the National Board Exam for teachers. This means that if i have this then i could be nationally certified. and i would love to put that in my resume. I will have to put down 500 bucks for it and take the class being taught by my fave teacher here in bastrop, Mrs. Quinn. Of course it is a lot of work but the reward is ahhhmazing. Then maybe i can apply everywhere i want and be sure to get it and skip the whole annoying certification process. i love my job!
so that has been the great week so far. i still have 3 more days before it's over so i would probably have more blessings coming this week. oh well. hey it's friday today, i finished another week and we have 3 more weeks before school's over. yipeeee....not. i have to start with summer school the day after our last day here in bastrop High. But then i get to go back to the philippines after summer school. hehhhhhhhhheeeeeeeee!

things i am addicted to and why i can't give them up

2007-04-15T23:04:00.000-05:00

1. smoking - living alone is boring. i usually stay up late to check papers. you think deeper while you are smoking and talking to friends. it's an excuse to eat more because you don't feel full.

2. eating out and smoking with friends - i have two dining sets and i don't use them because i am by myself. so i grab every chance i get to eat out with my friends. i don't have to wash the dishes after eating. i don't have to cook.
3. vanilla candles - they smell good.
4. listening to regine songs - this is nothing new actually but now i have it in my ipod!
5. mille bournes - it is a card game about driving. i don't know why i like it so much, i'm not even good at it. silver beats me all the time but i'm okay as long as i can stop jackie.

6. talking on the phone - maybe the lack of real people in my house? you think?

7. putting hairpins on my bangs - it's just comfortable. i don't have to deal with bangs blocking my eyesight. and i like the mess it makes on top of my head.
8. loop earrings and stud - i just think i look good in them. i maybe wrong but who cares?
9. sleeping in the afternoon - it used to be because school work made me so tired. now, it is because schoolwork bores me.
10. w40 and lysol(for bathtubs)- i like the smell of this in my kitchen and bathroom, respectively.
11. flossing - my dentist scared me!

12. crest mouthwash - i've always wanted a mouthwash that doesnt burn my mouth when i use it.
13. nestea green tea - i hardly drink coke anymore. i don't feel bloated when i drink it. it just sounds healthier when you say you drink green tea compared to drinking soda.
14. american idol - the modern english version of bagong kampyon. i love to sing and criticize people who can't.

15. downloading music to my ipod - because i can.

story of the pink table

2007-04-15T22:24:00.000-05:00

yep. i am one of those people who don't know how to let go. for some, this is actually a good thing. well, not for me. aquarians are known for being loyal. i guess, i always try to see the good side of a person. In my case though, i end up looking at the good side even if there's actually none. Or maybe, i saw it once and thought hey, i know i'm gonna see that again. I watch The Hoilday about 2 weeks ago and there's a good explanation why i am attracted to bad boys.
__________________
Iris: Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she(in my case, he) does something that tells you she's(he's) no good, you ignore it. And every time she(he) comes through and suprises you, she(he) wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's(he's) not for you.

Miles: Exactly, and on top of that there's the old standby, I can't believe a girl(guy) like that would actually be with a guy (girl) like me.
_________________

This means i don't value myself because again, i'm settling. I need to learn to let go. Some things are really not or will never be what i think they are. Some things are not for me and there's a good explanation why. But i don't have to know it yet. There is a bigger plan for me. i should believe there is.

my goal is to make my life simple. I really don't need to complicate things anymore. i can't be intimate with him again and say to myself that i'm just using him because in reality, men and women can't be intimate and not have strings attached to it. yep, both sexes. Although we all pretend we can do it. Men don't do it well and women are worse.

i have the same problem for ten years now. I have to put a stop to this. I don't want to celebrate my 30th birthday having the same problem and that's 10 months from now. i sure have given it more than enough time. If it's really meant to happen, it would've happened a long time ago. there is no hope on this one.

orlando trip springbreak 2007

2007-04-12T12:55:00.000-05:00

so this is it. this is i think the best springbreak i have ever had and this is courtesy of silver and jackie. funny but this is also the worst driving trip to florida this time courtesy of nald. anyway,all the pictures here were taken by moi except those the feature me. i love sepia so most of them are in that theme.

this is how ronald was when his mom gave birth to him.

the picture of friendship.

the picture of angst.

my happy day in orlando.

a well-deserved lazy day.

peeping silver.

burning my lungs out again.

friends by the patio.

the winning shot.

just the three of us and the hammock.

the three of us and the antagonist by the patio.

cheetos and coke model.

silver and jackie with a stripper.

a poem of angst

2007-04-12T12:42:00.000-05:00

Not because I smile at you
Means that i like you
Not because I let you win a fight
Means that you are always right

Not because you know something
Means you're smart in everything
Not because you make me laugh today
Means i need you everyday

Not because you wear expensive clothing
Means you're a high fashion being
Not because you have more money to spare
Means your credit is good or even fair

Not because I don't tell you the real deal
Means i care about what you think or feel
Coz not because i'm here for you today
doesnt mean this is where i want to stay

So listen when i bid you ,"so long"!
Coz baby you got it all so wrong
I was just doing what my folks said was right
And that is to be gentle and polite.

employees of the year

2006-10-08T15:36:00.000-05:00

i am assuming that i'm not the only one who deals with annoying coworkers on a daily basis. we don't live in a perfect world so therefore we can't choose the people we work with. But we have to deal with them because we all work together. here are some of the different personalities my friends and i have encountered so far.

1. The good girl
- these are girls who do not ever break any rule. yup, i know it's a good thing but it gets really annoying sometimes specially when they don't use their common sense anymore. If it is not in the rules, you just don't assume that it is. Moreso, you don't ask if it is a part of the rules because you're just giving your superiors ideas.

2. Approval seeker
- these are those who don't function at all without asking their coworkers if what they are doing is right or wrong. they will ask every question possible just to make sure that they won't commit mistakes. But you know what's funny, they make stupid mistakes despite the endless asking.

3. Top earner but worst employee
- it kills me that some people earn four or more times than i do and do nothing at work. Yup, people who cannot be fired because of seniority or because of some graduate degree they got from god-knows-where. Then they have the guts to ask you to teach them how to do something?

4. The whiner
- people at work who complain (LIKE THEY ARE GONNA DIE) everyday about the simplest things. Usually, the same simple things. Hey if you're complaining about the same things all the time, why don't you try to do something different with your life? get another job!

5. The gossip girl
- this is the person who happens to know what's going on all the time. She loves to talk (usually bad) about people as a past time. And you know she talks about you behind your back.

6. the nonstop talker
- these are the people you are scared to be alone with in a long elevator ride. They talk and talk and they do it faster than the speed of light. and they tak about things that you couldn't possibly care about because it's their neighbor's cousin's brother's mother's sister's son. or they could be talking passionately about Henry who you would later find out to be a pet.

7. the fashionista
- these are the people who wear nice and preppy clothes all the time. They raise their eyebrows whenever they see someone wearing better clothes than they are or they tell you, "i didn't know we can wear that here". These are the people who will never praise you for wearing nice clothes nor ask you where you got your clothes from.

8. the best employee
- these are the people who are really passionate about their work. they sacrifice living their lives just to be the best employee possible. If they have to work during weekends they would...all day. you don't know if they have a husband, a son, or a mother because all they talk about is work.

9. the bad influence
- these are the people who try to do less work if they can get away with it. For them, paperworks are a bunch of crap. They won't do anything without asking why they have to. And if they don't get the answer they want to hear, they just don't do it. Ironically, they are usually the quality workers so they cannot be fired easily.

10. the silent killer
- these are the people who pretend to be your friend and who listens to your problems. These are the same people who tell your boss the kind of weak person you are. they try to be close to the bosses by telling them stuff about their employees. these are the people who will make you lose your job.

11. The center of attention
- these are the people who loves to get attention from everybody in any given circumstance. these are the people who loves wild accessories, bold colors in clothes, talks like they have a built-in microphone and does a lot of hand gestures or any odd movement whenever they talk.

12. the ass kisser
- obviously people who does (wholeheartedly) everything that their boss asks them to do even if everybody else can't do it. They are the ones who greet your boss every morning with a smile or even tries to make a conversation with them in any given time. They are the people who like to ask favors from the boss so they try to maintain a good relationship with them. of course, they usually get what they want.

13. the normbreaker
- these are people who hates to be like everybody else. They don't care whether everybody's dancing; they would just sit in the corner and drink (if they are even there). At work, they have their own world, don't mingle and seldom smile. But everybody wants to know what they're thinking.

14. the godfather
- these are the people who have all the answers to every question. They know it all. they are never wrong. They are almost god.

15. the clown
- the funniest and safest people in your workplace. they like to make people laugh and they make work easy. the only problem is that their boss don't take them seriously but calls on them to be amused.

new image

2006-10-07T01:15:00.000-05:00

for someone who hates seeing the same things everyday, i know it's unusual that i haven't had a different blog template in years. With a little patience and time to kill i was able to change my template for the first time. And mind you, this is just a test. Unfortunately my friend borrowed my photoshop software so i couldn't do a lot of things with my banner yet. Maybe next week, ill start playing with this again. I saved all the codes for my past templates so for the next few days i'll be deciding which one i want for the next few months. i am sooooo excited, you have no idea. this is the most liberating thing everrr.

im bringing my gay back

2006-09-25T22:55:00.000-05:00

the war is finally over. Once again, we're okay. I was just reading through my blog archives and i realized yup, i miss him. I want my gay back. It's just not complete without him (friends, please don't take this in a bad way). I just thought about the things we've gone through and man, that's almost more than what paeng and i had! From the time we were living together, to the time we were fighting when i moved out, to consoling me when paeng left me, to being my friday movie night partner. I simply cannot give those up now. So as soon as i woke up (i slept reading through my blog), i changed then went to his house. I texted him before i fell asleep so he knew i was coming. While i was knocking, i remeber feeling nervous. Is it going to be a welcome smile or a go-away frown? He was okay. He just woke up and was about to cook dinner. After a few minutes , silver was knocking on the door. She didn't want to work and she wanted to sing so she came over when she saw my car. We sang for hours! i almost felt like it was friday and we didn't have to go work tomorrow. I guess you can say we were celebrating because we just got paid! You know, like filipinos do whenever they get their paycheck. but we didn't spend a dime, we were just hanging out. it was a nice feeling to be with them again. Nope, nald and i didn't talk about anything from the past and we usually don't. We are just okay. And that's all i want. I told him i've been seeing douglas at church and that i was planning to make him my new gay since he left me. He said douglas doesn't cook and is too much like me so we won't click. I know...that's why i'm bring my gay back.

who played first?

2006-09-24T22:58:00.000-05:00

Here i go again with my endless human experiments. I'm not even sure if five samples would be enough to draw my conclusions from. The question for today is what constitutes to cheating? According to one of my five samples, cheating is any form of body contact with another person of the opposite sex. One of them said that any form of communication to another party as long as one of them intends to have a relationship beyond friendship. Another person said it's never cheating unless there is sex involved while another added it should only be sex with penetration. My last sample (who is a guy) simply said, "What is vague about it?". He said a guy knows when he is cheating. just like the kid in the story, The Emperor's New Clothes, he asked the most intelligent stupid question. All the while i thought guys don't see things the same way women do. Or maybe some do and some don't or won't admit to it. I think i would know when i'm cheating. I am conscious when i cheat. The only reason why this question would seem vague is when i am trying to be defensive. When one of my samples said it all boils down to one person's intention then my theory becomes void. The thing is i can date another person (assuming that i am committed) and say, i don't have the intention to have a relationship beyond friendship. Or worse, you can have sex and say the same thing. But wait, i think i'm having an aha moment (from Oprah). It says as long as one of you intends to have a relationship beyond friendship. It didn't specify who. Meaning it could be the person who has a commitment or the person you are cheating with. And usually even if the committed one can and would deny it, the other party is the one who wants to take the relationship to another level. I guess unless both of you (suspect and accessory)have the same intention then it is not cheating. Now what about on the perspective of the cheatee (is there such a word)? When i tried to turn the question around, most of my samples have different answers. I asked them, when do you think your partner is cheating on you and most of them gave me less limited answers. Double standards, of course. Why can't we think this way? Not how my partner would feel when im doing this but how i would feel when my partner is doing this. three out of five samples said it is not thier fault if the outside party initiated first or basically, did the first move. in my opinion, it doesn't matter. If my boyfriend responded then they are both at fault. He can blame the girl, alcohol level, hormones or whatever but obviously those are just lame excuses. You are conscious when you cheat but it's just a much better excuse not to be.

i was absent today

2006-09-18T22:11:00.000-05:00

I knew i was gonna be absent today from school. I have always been someone who always has to break a routine every now and then to survive. I'm usually cool about everything but i know when to recharge. I don't want to have a total breakdown. I just needed to rest. Checking papers is really the worst part of teaching. I'm not saying it's not important, i know it is a vital part to knowing someone's progress in school. I just couldn't believe that after all the advances in technology that we have right now, teachers are still checking papers manually! A few weeks back, there was one company that presented their products to us, math teachers, and i thought one of the products was cool because it uses the computer and calculator for tests and quizzes. The problem is ....it's too expensive or maybe my school just can't afford it. This product though focuses more on multiple choice questions and i am really not a big fan of that. I don't like any type of test that would allow students to guess and get the answers right. I want something that would really measure what they know. Too much about work.. I guess i just feel guilty that a sub was in my classroom today and had to do my work for me. I wish i was smart enough to solve my checking problem.
Ok. I guess there aren't anything to write about but school. I paused for a few minutes thinking what i could possibly write about besides my job. Talk about not having a life. At least that's better than whining about an ugly relationship that i couldn't get out of. Maybe i'll just pretend that i'll see some light one day.

These are the jobs that i want besides what i have right now.

1. ADVERTISING - way back in high school, this was the most popular job for those who love art. I imagine myself making commercials for TV or being a part of brainstorming to conceptualize them. Late nights, pizza and smoking during meetings. This totally fits my lifestyle.

2. PHOTOGRAPHER - I'm not sure if this will make me rich but i know i'm naturally a good photographer. I know a lot about balance and stuff in pictures so that should make me better than others. I like the fact that if i become a famous one, i could travel for free and take pictures. I like to photograph people and capture their different moods. Ok fine, this could be a hobby.

3. ARCHITECT - Im good at math and drawing therefore this should've been a good Occupation for me. i remember taking architecture classes in college and dropping when i got tired of them. Inially i thought i could be like my fave prof in physics who had a degree in archi and masters in physics. Way back in college i thought i wanted to be the reverse--degree in physics and masters in archi. the problem occurred when i realized i needed a lot of archi prerequisites to take it as a graduate course.

4. SCHOOL PRINCIPAL - ahem, did you know i wanted an administrative job in school? I think i could be a good principal and all i needed to do is take some graduate courses to qualify. I'm young , i can still do that.

5. I WANT TO FLIP HOUSES - buying an old house and transforming it to a nice one so you can profit by selling it is what i meant here. I think it's easy money if you know what you're doing and if you know of a good and dependable contractor.

6. FAsHION CONSULTANT OR STYLIST - i love clothes, shoes and accessories. I know, given my present physical condition, i can never be a model so this is the closest thing for me. I want to tell people what they should wear and how they can improve their appearances.

7. TV SHOW HOST - hey, oprah was fat when she started! i like to speak my mind about a lot of things. Given a good set of writers, i think i can pull this off. I just have to get over my shyness. Besides, i think to be a TV show host is to be a celebrity without really looking like one.

8.AMBULANCE DRIVER - I think this is the only way you can actually drive really fast without getting a ticket. Imagine the power you have over other vehicles.

9. BACK-UP SINGER - i love to sing but i don't want to be the center of attention. people who know how i sing would know why. I seldom sing the melody of any song, i like the second voice better cause they are more challenging.

10. A FAMOUS PERSON'S GIRL FRIDAY - a girl friday is actually a better term for an assistant. i just want to have the priveleges of being famous without being again, the center of attention.

crazy pics

2006-09-14T01:05:00.000-05:00

i just thought i needed to show everybody my trips last summer. the problem is..im not sure how to put texts after each pic. This wasn't the way i was used to, i guess the trial period of that software is over. i dont even remember what it's called. has it been that long? i dont even know how to delete pictures that's why i have one (from the clearwater pics) that was accidentally duplicated. pero bottomline is may picture na ulit sa blog ko. dapat nga lalagyan ko pa ng video yan eh kso it's 1 am already and my administrator will observe me first thing in the morning so i don't have time to learn it. Those pictures were taken about 2 months ago and i realized i look pleasant then. That's because i took pictures of me last night and i noticed how work can make you look tired and worn out. And that's just 5 weeks of school ha? be the judge.

clearwater,florida (summer trip 2006)

2006-09-14T00:17:00.000-05:00

eto na ang chicago summer trip 06

2006-09-13T23:52:00.000-05:00

i guess it's not enough that im by myself, huh?

2006-09-12T22:48:00.000-05:00

paging my sister marie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have this problem that i really cannot tell anybody about and it's killing me. i remember telling my sister about this in our bedroom a few years back and i thought she was the only person who understood me. She is the only person in the world i'd feel safe to tell it to. Because she would not hate me. And i promised her i will try harder so it won't happen again. But it is sooooo hard because whenever it does, it happens too fast that you don't have time to think about it. I really think i need to seek help but im scared to be labeled. Its just scary because i know it's getting worse and i know a lot of people will go nuts when they find out. i actually tried to tell my best friend about this and i'm not quite sure i liked it. She almost went nuts, i believe. At the same time she was amazed, to say the least. And at some points of having this disorder i know i feel the same way. But i can never be proud of it. I don't think i can fix myself anymore without some medical help . I feel like im running out of time. I don't want to wait for something bad to happen. I dont intend to talk about this openly but when im ready (which i doubt will ever happen), i will. Cause i can't afford to lose my friends this way. I'm definite that they won't understand. They can't. They have to be me. I just hope that when they find out everything will be alright. It may not be the same but at least it'll be alright. It's hard to explain that you don't have a choice. AAAAAAAargh! i need an easy button.

i miss you marie. i wish you were here today.

here we go, here we go again

2006-09-04T22:10:00.000-05:00

it's true what they all say: lessons are repeated unless learned. and i as a teacher i should know this by heart, if i have a heart. i don't even remember when i started being such a bitch. i don't remember planning it. it's as if i woke up one day and told myself, "well, why should i be good today?". i think i had my share of knowing people who took advantage of me, some i'm still with. And it's hard when you have been sheltered all your life. My parents tried sooo much to protect me from getting hurt. I remember not being able to play with dirt when i was young, or buying us (my sis) stuff we like to replace not having a father at home (my dad was always working abroad). i remember my mom asking ronald to take care of me when we left manila 3 years ago. or my mom asking paeng why we broke up when we did. but there will come a point in your life when you could only depend on yourself, when you could only trust yourself. It's been proven: people change. I changed. i had to because i needed to cope and adapt to everybody else's changing. i love my life now. it's not perfect,of course. Somehow having a little angst is making me a better person. i don't have to hide anything,i did some good things and bad things in my life. And i'm okay. I can still sleep at night. I don't want to be pressured to please anybody. I'm a bitch but i'm sure not yours!

The Priss : deliberate brutal love dreamer (dbldf)

2006-06-22T02:02:00.000-05:00

Mature. Responsible. Aristocratic. Excuse me. The Priss.

Prisses are the smartest of all female types. You're highly perceptive, and confident in your judgements. You'd take brutal honesty over superficiality any time--your friends always know where they stand with you. You're completely unfake. Don't tell me that's not a word. You're also excellent at redirecting internal negative energy.

These facts indicate people are often intimidated by you. They also fall for you, hard. You have a distant, composed allure that many find irresistible. If only more of them lived up to your standards.

Your exact opposite:
The Playstation

Random Gentle Sex Master
You were probably the last among your friends to have sex. And the first to pretend that you're pregnant. LOL. Though you're inclined to use sex as weapon, at least it's not as one of mass destruction. You're choosier than most about your partners. A supportive relationship is what you're really after. Whether you know it or not, you need something steady & long-term. And soothing.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Playboy, The Loverboy

CONSIDER: The Manchild

try this test at http://www.okcupid.com/oktest3
The OkCupid Test will gauge your inner workings and then classify you into 1 of 32 dating types. Among other things, we'll be analyzing your sex drive, predictability, intelligence, love experience, and inherent goodness. We do a lot of math to calculate your results, and all you have to do is answer honestly

my selfish self; alone in my space

2006-06-22T01:29:00.000-05:00

living by myself has taught me a lot about life ...it opened my eyes on different possibilities and made me discover a lot of things about myself.here are some of them:

1. that i don't want my house to smell like a giant ashtray. i know i'm a hypocrite but hey, i don't even date guys who smoke! when ronald and i used to live together, we both smoked inside the house and it really stinks. the worst part is you only notice the smell when you come home from work. you get used to it too much, it didn't bother me until soemone visits you and talks about it. Because of this, i only smoke at the back porch of my house. good thing yumyum doesn't complain about it.

2. that i can cook for my friends sometimes. i guess my mom is such a great cook that i never really tried to compete with her in that field. not having a microwave oven is also helping because it hinders me from buying microwavables that usually don't require much effort and time.and i love to wear my aprons!

3. that i'm so domisticated sometimes i feel like a housewife without the annoying husband who watches tv or play in the computer all the time (no offense meant).

4. that i could have kids in my space. the peace and quiet is good but sometimes it's deafening me. kids are fun and easy to please; just make sure you have chocolates in the fridge all the time and a beanbag in the living room.lit candles may not be a good idea, though.

5. that when you have a visitor in your house it is more polite to turn your cellphone off and focus on the visitor. otherwise it becomes a big argument between you and the visitor.and you don't want to do that because the visitor is always right...or is it the customer?hehehe!

6. it's easy to make your bed as soon as you get up in the morning.i remember waking up at the sound of my phone one time so i went out and smoke while chatting with my friend. i then cooked breakfast and ate and when i went babk in my room to get my bathrobe i realized i haven't made my bed yet. i was so shocked you would've thought i've been making my bed all my life! but really, i didn't like it. so now, it's become a morning ritual.

7. that cleaning is nice when you have lots of cool cleaning stuff and a pending problem.believe me, it's more rewarding than having a haircut or having you nails done.

8. that it's nice to play dress up and wear make up even if you're not going anywhere. i like wearing weird ensambles and be all dolled up even if im just watching . soap operas all day. it just makes me feel good. i know now how 5-year olds feel.

9. that folding your clothes is not a hard task when you're watching Kathy Griffin. i love her to death!

10. that i don't have to lock my bedroom door when i sleep or when i change nor my bathroom door when im taking a shower as long as i lock the main door.

11. that i'm really scared of having roaches in my kitchen so i clean up after i cook.

12. that it's more fun and less expensive to buy house stuff than clothes and shoes. same reason why im more excited to go to an ikea store in chicago than gurnee mills.

13. that when i don't do things that i should've done eons ago, i'm not procrastinating...i usually now say, i have that scheduled next week.

14. that your students can mow your lawn for a much cheaper price or even wash your car for no fee at all...just the privelege of being with their teacher is more than enough.yes, i abuse it so what?

you know you're broke when.....

2006-06-20T23:22:00.000-05:00

1. you call your dad more often than usual.

2. you'd rather just wear a panty and a bra in your house when it's 85 degrees than turn on the AC

3. you're thinking about dieting

4. you're thinking about quitting smoking

5. you go to your friend's work place for free lunch

6. you stay home all the time

7. you only go out when your friend is driving

8. you're scared to open the mail

9. you start cooking

10. you window shop during the victoria secret semi annual sale

11. you go walking with your friend just to get the hell out of the house

12. you only use your phone after 9 pm

13. you surf over the net , blog or answer emails more often

14. you use text messaging more than making calls

15. you want to look better when going to work so nobody would notice that you're flat ass broke

16. you think about selling some stuff on ebay

17. you focus on work more; there's nothing else you could do

18. you sleep more; again , there's nothing else you could do

19. you only borrow dvds that your friends rented

20. you think about saving money when your next paycheck comes.

don't worry, im making it. it's just hilarious to make a big joke about it. you know me..im never too serious about life. this too shall pass---that's my favorite line.

why women should not settle

2006-06-19T01:25:00.000-05:00

there are a lot of things women usually consider before labeling a guy " a prospect". And usually it changes as you age. for instance, when i was in grade school i wanted to marry either a doctor or a lawyer due to the obvious reason--financial stability. I guess there were things before that we couldnt afford and i thought my prince charming will come to rescue me--buy me a doc martens boots( the purple pair). then way back in high school, i remember liking guys from exclusive, expensive catholic schools.purely peer pressure, what can i say...guys from exclusive expensive catholic schools were known to be classy, well-educated, well-mannered, good looking and have a great accent when speaking in english. in college, i remember liking guys with nice cars and still...speaks better english than i do. you are probably thinking now that i have a great obsession for people who speaks very good english and hell, i don't even know why. all i could remember is just making it a big deal, i don't want anybody who could not carry a good and sensible conversation with me or my friends. And my friends (like a lot of Filipinos i know) were very particular about grammar and the like. After college, i was attracted to guys who could make me laugh. I didn't care how they look like...i just liked them humorous (NOT FUNNY, OK?)..i liked guys who can put humor to any given situation. After a few years of working, i realized i like guys who are comfortable with who i am. Someone who is confident and not insecure. And someone who knows what he wants to happen in his life and can include me in it. And of course, someone who speaks good english and can spell. I know the last part sounds weird but living here in the states i found out how a big turn off it is when a guy couldn't spell. yah at first i found it cute but after a while ,i don't know, it just sounds stupid.

so the big question is why do we, women, settle for something less than what we really want? Is it because there are not a lot of male species to choose from? is it because of the pressure that their families and friends put on them when they are still unattached by the time they reach the age their families and friends tied the knot? is it the pressure we put on ourselves because we are scared of some research that says we should be pregnant before we reach thirty to have healthy and intelligent children?or is it because we cannot just sit down and wait for mr. right to come so we settle for "mr. right now"?

honestly, i don't think women settle for anything less than what they want...the usual problem is--we don't know what we want until we learn it from a past relationship.the checklist is being modified in time.plus like what i have mentioned, it comes with maturity. my early qualifications were all about my being selfish---i wanted a guy who will be good enough for my friends. And now, i'm not saying i won't ever listen to what my friends have to say about him but i will always have the last word. i would listen but not necessarily follow. but then again, that sounds like another form of being selfish. i guess my definition of being selfish evolves in time as well.

more and more women are getting married in their thirties which is a good sign that i am not alone in this journey of singlehood. it's nice to be single---you have options all the time. and that is something hard to give up unless some person is worthy of it.

there are lots of theories or labels regarding unattached females in their late twenties...people think your a lesbian, a nerd or a geek, too choosy, too selfish to be tied down, ambitious career woman,boring personality, too serious in life, too good for men, has issues in bed, etcetera, etcetera.when will this stop? if a woman is unattached in her late twenties just leave her alone. it's just not happening yet. She is happy at the moment although she knows she could be happier. it will happen if it will happen. if not then at least she once gave it a try. i'm sure she is scared to be by herself when she gets really, really old but who isn't? Who can actually say that they won't be alone when they get old?do i sound bitter yet?

to top it all, i think women who take their time before being in a relationship should be commended because they take relationships seriously. unlike other people who just shops and buys impulsively, we take our time to window shop. And guess what, maybe we'll buy something and bring home what we really, really, really want...or not. maybe we'll go home with nothing and just wait till it's on sale and we can bargain with the price so it will fit the budget.maybe we could even put it on layaway and decide on getting it in the future.

don't worry, im okay.

this is funny and scary cause i know all of them

2006-06-18T01:53:00.000-05:00

one of my students emailed me this...

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LIVING IN LOUISIANA:
>
>1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air
>2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in LOUISIANA.
>3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in LOUISIANA plus a
>couple no one's
> seen before.
>4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
>5. Onced and twiced are words.
>6. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy or Amber's tipsy taxi!
>7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
>8. People actually grow and eat okra.
>9. Fixinto is one word.
>10. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there
>is supper.
>11. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when
>you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
>12. Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
>13. Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
>14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
>is. You work until you' re
> done or it's too dark to see.
>15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
>
>YOU KNOW YOUR FROM LOUISIANA IF:
>
>1. You measure distance in minutes.
>2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
>3. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store "
>4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
>grain, insect or animal.
>5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
>unlocked.
>6. You know what a "DAWG" is.
>7. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.
>8. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, tony chachere's, tabasco and
>ketchup.
>9. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but
>require 6 pages for
> local gossip and sports.
>10. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
>11. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm".
>12. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and
>Christmas.
>13. You know whether another LOUISIANAN is from NEW ORLEANS, north or south
>as soon as
> they open their mouth.
>14. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as"goin' Wal-martin"or
>off to "Wally World"....
> or Mall Mart
>15. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good Gumbo
>weather.
>16. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop...it's a Coke,
> regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"
>17. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
>18. We don't need no stinking driver's ed....if our mama says we can
> drive, we can drive.

> Not EVERYONE can be a LOUISIANAN, it's an art
>form and a gift from God!

the half year that was

2006-06-15T14:32:00.000-05:00

ha! welcome back, marj! i couldn't believe that the last thing i wrote here is kind of a

year-ender. no birthday post, new boylet post, transferring to another house post, living

alone finally post, etc. so ill try to remember it one by one.

1. birthday----i celebrated my birthday last week of january. i turned 28. yup, 28 and

still single! every now and then my dad will tell me to start looking for a man to take

care of me. i know that's his subtle way of telling me to stop being a pain in his ass.

but i love my dad, don't get me wrong. i wouldn't have survived living here if not for

his continuous "financial and emotional" support. going back to my birthday

celebration...erwin cooked a lot of food that day---we had sisig, palabok,etc. i celebrated

it at tess' and erwin's house as i don't want my guests to feel uncomfortable since rissa's

there. that's another story, by the way. my best gift came from my friends---sensi

perfume by g. armani but of course they pranked me by giving me a bogus gift of school

supplies before the actual gift. i also received cards and text messages from family and

friends from back home. thanks!

2. february----i was busy in school of course or maybe i just dont want to remember this

month because it's supposed to be the love month and i was just lacking it that month. that

month.

3. march ---- is one of the most important month in school because that's when they take

their standardized test.busy, busy,busy. my friend jeff celebrated his birthday and the

girls gave him ipod accessories without the ipod.

4. april----easter! i remember not being so holy during holy week. it's the start of

something big.bad gurlz rule! my sister's birthday and i didn't call her coz i was in

texas for a physics trip....first six flags trip!!!!!

5. may-----i moved out of the old house because our landlady told us that she needs it for

her grandson..., rissa told me after a week that she might stay with danny so i now live by

myself...and that was one of the best decisions i made this year.i love being by myself in

my 3-bedroom house.it's expensive but it's sooooo worth it. some friends helped me move

but for my most of my stuff, i had to hire movers.im 3 minutes away from my school. i can

sleep late and wake up late! awesome

6. june-----summer school started really early this year. i had but a weekend break from

regular to summer school. plus they have decided to lessen the pay from 25- 20 per hour.

im making it, though....i think.

so that's it....i miss putting pictures in my blog...ill try that next time. i miss having

a camera, i hope my sis is using it.

what's about to happen the next months?

1. im planning to go to my dad's for three weeks this summer.

2. ill be finished with the brendan project.... someone actually trusted me to pain in

their son's room images of batman, spiderman and batman.

3. more cooking.im a late bloomer when it comes to cooking. at least i bloomed! my mom

will be proud.

4. more kilig moments.

5. a change of heart?

6. less issues between my friends.

7. i have 6 months to find me a groom so grace can pay for my wedding gown...it's just a

bet.
8. im getting rid of my tech stuff.

9. the new addition to the manuel family---monmon and vava

the year that was

2006-01-04T22:48:00.000-06:00

last year, i tried to quit smoking and start drinking water. i lasted about 2 months without smoking but i'm still drinking water everyday. This year, i don't think i can quit smoking. I mean i'm not even going to try. Smoking does a lot of things for me specially when i'm depressed (which is practicially every now and then) so i decided to just NOT QUIT this year. Aside from smoking and drinking water, i also started going to the gym ( which is or was a good thing). I really need to be more motivated to go the gym this year. Somehow, buying gym outfits or tennis shoes doesn't motivate me that much no more.Yup, not even after i bought myself a nano. But i really, really need to go to the gym again. And i will. I also need to read more books. I started really good last year and then i got busy and went back to physics text books. I have three books waiting to be read and i just purchased them 3 days ago: John Grisham's The Broker, Micheal Crichton's State Fear and Dan Brown's Digital Fortress.i'm presently reading Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code. This is my third attempt to read it. First time was on a train trip to Chicago two years ago. it didn't work out since i was more concerned about smoking during stopovers than reading.I need to stop shopping for clothes. It's not that i'm drowning in debts already ( i actually paid all my bills well last year), i just don't know how it would fit in my closet! At present, I have 14 denim jeans already and i know that may not be too many for some people but the thing is, i can only wear them when i'm not in school teaching! I had this "search for the perfect jeans" after i got back from the philippines and gave my favorite jeans to my favorite sister. I never stopped since- form DKNY to Old Navy, Bastrop to Florida. i think I should invest more on shoes since that's more logical. So this year the goal is to have more shoes. My make-up collection is also catching up so i'd like to do the same this year ( although i only wear make-up once in a blue moon, i want to be prepared whenever i feel like being girlash). I think i did good about reducing my phone bill last year ( losing a boyfriend overseas helped a lot). At least i stopped buying purses when i got back from Pinas. I realized that hand purses are cheaper and better in there. Until now, i still have some that i haven't used yet. I also need to buy more belts. This year i only bought three. I want to buy a new laptop or desktop pc-tv from sonystyle. I got my laptop about 6 months ago from dell and i really, really want to go back to sony. Nope, there's nothin wrong with my Inspiron 6000, I just want style and Xbrite. I also need to travel more this year although nothing can possibly beat my trips last year. I went back home, florida, and of course chicago. I hope there'll be surprises again this year. Maybe New York or Las Vegas? Or maybe a 4-night cruise to the Bahamas. Sweeeeeeet. I also wish i could travel alone. I havent really done that yet except whenever i go my dad's. I just want to be able to explore and learn a lot of things about myself and be free with inhibitions and do crazy stuff (not too crazy, really). My cooking improved a lot this year. I cooked beef steak, tinola, adobo, sinigang,afritada,fried rice aside from the classic sausage and eggs last year. i won't say they were the best but i didn't die eating them so they're okay.
So that's it. it's year of the dog in the Chinese calendar and i heard someone said that it's the best year for those born in the year of the horse to get married and ahem, i am born in the year of the horse. So i guess i should start my wedding plans this month so that when i finally meet my groom, all he needs to do is walk down the aisle.No time wasted.grrrrrrrrr.

we both like...

2005-12-29T03:42:00.000-06:00

we both like movies
scifi, romantic, suspense
we both like roadtrips
chicago, florida, new orleans
we both like playing games
playstation, internet, pc
we both like physics
kinematics, thermodynamics, electricity
we both like math
algebra, calculus, geometry
we both like shopping
clothes, eelctronics, accessories
we both like watching tv
will and grace, sex and the city,queer as folk
we both like staying up late
for work, play or nothing at all
we both like music
singing, listening or downloading
we both like to travel
to china, us and back to the philippines
we both like to look good
rugged, formal , casual
we both like to smell good
perfume, cologne or lotion
we both like spending
cash, credit or debit
we both like making friends
thru acquaintances, friends or the net
we both like men
as toys, lovers or lifelong partners

christmas 2005 wishlist:an easy way to make me happy

2005-12-11T23:58:00.000-06:00

christmas usually means gifts-buying and receiving. I think this will be my first time to come up with a christmas wishlist. Since I won't be with any blood-related family this season, it will be almost imposible to receive this specific gifts. oh what the hell, I could always make this a list of what i want to buy this new year!

1)ipod nano silicon skin.mura lang to, $9.99 here's the link para malagay na sa cart, ill give my address later.lolz. by the way, this is open to strangers too.i'll try to put the picture of this later kung tamad ka mag-link. They accept credit cards in this link.

2)this next one is because of my saturday night life---poker nights! while i was looking for gifts for some of my pockermates, i chanced upon these nice lighters...too bad only daddy erwin and i smoke in the group....now, i want one of these. If you can't see the picture, it is a pokerchip lighter. I like a purple one.

3. books to make me intelligent, just kidding. I know I have read this once before but i just want my own copy of Memoirs of a Geisha. I think it's about 10 dollars sa amazon. book number 2 would be the broker by john grisham. need i say more? grisham nga e, who cares what the story is? i looooooove grisham books! Audio cd's are accepted too. I am well-rounded.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385510454/qid=1134370040/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-5670781-6250429?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

4. i need two more pillows on my bed. the good kind so i don't have to go to my chiropractor ever again.

http://www.overstock.com/cgi-bin/d2.cgi?PAGE=CATLIST&PRO_SUB_CAT=240&PRO_SSUB_CAT=1914&cid=19724&fp=f

5. i need more picture frames in my room.
i'm copying what my friend did in her living room. She put a lot of frames around the room and they really look nice. The frames should have brownish color to match my bed.sizes could vary.

6. i was watching tv last weekend and i happened to watch a concert by carly simon. another gift i want this christmas would be a greatest hits cd of carly simon.her voice is just different. and her songs were written just for me. wag na downloaded ha, i can do that for myself.

7. lotion, lotion and some more lotion. Winter really kills me. I look like a walking dry skin. i miss my glow. lotion must have lavender scent. any brand will do.
8. cute toe socks. at present i have 2 pairs already and i really need more...basta colorful or pinkish. i need them because they keep my feet warm at night or, since it's winter time, 100 percent of the time.

9. accessories; necklaces, bracelets. i want the kinds that drew barrymore always wears. fun and colorful. they just make a simple outfit look elegant.

10. a new jewelry box. due to some changes i made recently, i am getting rid of an old jewelry box. new box, new life. of course i want it as colorful as the old one.

you don't want to know

2005-11-19T14:30:00.000-06:00

Sunday, Nov. 13, 2005. I never thought that there's such a thing as sunday the 13th. Sana di na lang ako nagising...puyat naman ako e...did my laundry until 3 am kanina so i should've slept like a baby til 12 noon....a phone call just had to ruin my sleep, make it my day...moreso, my life...paeng called me at 10 this morning...i missed his call last night e as i was talking to my dearly beloved sister...as i was saying...he said hi , asked me how my life is here, and if i found a date for the japanese thing already and i (stooooopid me!) said, uh nope si nald na lang siguro...then, with no segue or introduction he said , nga pala, may girlfriend na ko....kaya pala wala nang i love you's, kaya pala wala nang sense lahat...that explains it....syempre, i was trying to keep my cool...kse he was still talking casually about god knows what....the last thing that registered was may girlfriend na ko...but i was still responding, saying yeah, nope every now and then...i was crying, wanted to scream at him at the top of my lungs and asked why he didn't wait for me...sa haba ng usap namin never akong suminghot...tumulo na lahat ng sipon ko pero i didnt care kse yoko malaman nya na umiiyak ako...na humahagulgol na ko..na nasisiraan na ko ng bait sa kabilang linya...i tried my best to be ok when he was talking, i should've won an award for that...how does he think i should feel after he tells me that? he actually thought i'd be okay? that i would say, ok ...NEXT! siguro nga i'd rather hear it from him than from our friends...siguro nga i should've seen it coming...pero ewan.isa lang kse alam ko ngayon...ang liit liit ko na...sana nga may matira naman khet konti. i hope he's happy. I know he needs a girlfriend and he finally got what he wanted. I actually thought there could be nothing worse than knowing it will be his bday on the 16th...balak ko na nga uminom kse first time na magbbday sya na di na kme...tangna, i almost drowned myself sa tub kanina...forget him marj.tapos na.
___________________________________________&&&&&_____________________________________

ok, i wrote this almost a week ago and i think i'm alright now. no need to panic. here's the secret to ignoring a broken heart---play an addicting pc game...yup! thanks civilization IV! i think of tech trees more often now than regretting about the past...this is just unbelievable...civ lang katapat mo, paeng! but of course when i'm done with this game i can always learn a new one.

____________________________________________&&&&_____________________________________
conversation with dad this morning:

dad: o anak kamusta na?
me: ok lang...dad, tumawag si paeng may gf na raw sya
dad: ok lang yan anak, maraming iba jan...bata ka pa naman e
me: e mahal ko e
dad: gusto mo umuwi sa summer? dalawang buwan ka dun, wag ka na magsummer school
me: bket ako uuwi?
dad: maghanap ka ng lalake dun ulet
me: sino naman may sabi sayo na gusto ko ng pinoy ulet
dad: ganun ba
me: pero gusto ko umuwi sa summer
dad: sige sagot ko

mwahahhahahhahhahhahhahahahhahahhaha!

anufangavah?

2005-11-13T03:30:00.000-06:00

It's very hard to say it's over specially when you're scared to start again. i don't even know if i should even consider starting from scratch again since i already know how it would end up to be---a disaster. Although of course if i won't ever open myself to another relationship , every pain and sacrifices from this previous one will be put to waste. I should learn something from these. I guess it's just easier to accept that i will not understand everything now but i will in the future. I just have to find some other ways to gain my self-esteem back. 'coz i just feel so little.
share ko lang to...

The DUMPED! Break-up Survival Guide.
By Lisa Daily
Maybe you knew it was coming. Maybe you didn't. You've been dumped.

So, other than moping around in your pajamas, spending quality time with
Ben & Jerry, what can you do? Well, clear away that mountain of soggy
tissues, and I'll tell you how to get through the worst of it,
the first 30 days.

Three things:

Take care of yourself.
Give yourself time to mourn.
Move forward.

The first 48 hours.
The first 48 hours are the toughest. Give yourself at least one
full weekend to cry your eyes out, eat junk food and lie around
on your couch in a broken-heart coma watching sappy movies or
a kung-fu marathon. Try to throw a few comedies into the mix
if you can, laughter is good for you. If you want to be alone
now, be alone. If you want to be with friends, by all means,
invite them to console you. Whatever you do, don't call your ex.
Don't e-mail your ex. Don't see your ex. Turn your answering
machine on and screen your calls. I'm not saying you should
never talk to your ex again, but give yourself at least a month
or so to build up your ego again. If you think you might be
tempted, by all means, invite a friend over to run defense and
keep you away from the phone. Next, force yourself to think of
the relationship as over. I know that's tough right now, but
it truly is necessary. Grieve for what it was, and consider
it dead and gone.

The first week.
After your first 48 hours, it is important to get off the couch
and take a shower. Not just for hygiene reasons, (but trust me,
by this time you'll really need it) but because it's now time
to start taking action. Take down all photos that include your
ex. If you need to have a ceremonial snapshot torching, by all
means, go ahead. Put all reminders of your ex (letters, gifts,
photos, etc.) in a box and stuff it way in the back of your
closet, or better yet, your garage - someplace you won't see it
on a regular basis. If you feel yourself starting to idealize
your ex, and feel the desire to call him or her, sit down
immediately and make a list of all the things about your ex
that really annoyed you - the more humorous, the better.
Think hard, I know there's something.

· The way he gave the exact same 22-minute response
to every single person who asked how his job was
going for three solid years.

· The psycho-squirrel noises she made when she laughed.

· The cheap, ugly, green, plastic phone he gave you for
Christmas.
· The way she tried to hold in her sneezes, producing
that imploding, snorty noise instead.
Whatever you do, don't call your ex. Start returning to your
normal life. Take an extra 20 minutes with your appearance this
week. Sure, you may not feel like getting dressed at all, but
trust me, if you look good, you'll feel even better. Wear
something that makes you feel stunning or confident. Nothing
smoothes the ragged edges of a recent break-up like a few
well-timed compliments. If your weekend on the couch still shows
in your face, put some tea bags on your eyelids.

Make plans with friends for every Friday and Saturday night for the
next month, and stick to them. Get out and go dancing. It may be
the last thing you feel like doing, but you'll find it's a fabulous
release. The music and physical activity will make you feel tons
better. Speaking of which, exercise four times this week. Yeah,
I know you won't feel like it, but do it anyway. You need those
happy endorphins that exercise brings. Do a little bonding with
your pals. Go to a basketball game, or even bowling. Just get out
of the house. One last thing for this week, schedule a massage.
You need it!

The second week.
Whatever you do, don't call your ex. Make a detailed list of all
your good qualities. Remember, you're a unique, wonderful, person,
and someone (probably several someones) will fall madly in love
with you, and you with them. Keep your plans with friends every
weekend, and by all means, do something physical, or humorous, like
going to a comedy club. Work out (three times this week, and for
the rest of the break-up survival period), go rock climbing, or
dance like the Backstreet Boys in your living room (nobody will
see you.) Get your heart rate going. Aside from making your body
look good, you'll boost your mood as well. This week is all about
pampering yourself. Get a pedicure, or sit in the sauna. You've
been through a lot, and you deserve it.Spend some of your newfound
time (and probably extra cash, too) on something just for you.
Guys, you may be feeling the need for some type of electronic
device you've been putting off. Now is the time. Girls, all I can
say is, SHOE SHOPPING! Treat yourself to a little something nice
this week, and every week for the rest of the month.

The last two weeks.
Whatever you do, don't call your ex. You're halfway through the
black period, and the worst is over. This is when you'll start
easing back into your pre-girl/pre-guy routine. Be a little selfish
with your time, and do exactly what you want to do. You should be
focusing on taking care of yourself right now. Now is also the time
to start making long-range plans. Make two plans: One plan for a
vacation (even if it's three years away,) and one plan for your life.
You have a clean slate, what do you want to do? Go back to school?
Become a rock star? Learn how to make crawfish traps? No one is
holding you back now. Write down your goals, and the steps you'll
need to take to reach them.

Holy Moly! Before you know it, the entire month has gone by.
You're through the thick of it now, and on the road to
recovery. Sure, you'll hit some bumps along the way,
but you'll live through this. You've made it this far, and
you'll be a stronger, wiser person because of it. Someday,
you'll meet someone who will love and appreciate you for the
amazing person you are. And this break-up, which is so awful
now, will just be one forgotten U- turn on your path to true love.

Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped!
All you need to know to make men fall madly love with you and
marry The One in 3 years or less.

About.com's Dating Guide raves "intelligent" and "very humorous."

To order, visit http://www.stopgettingdumped.com

and if you're like me...you might want to take this break-up test...my score was 70.grrrr.

no more i love you's

2005-10-24T23:23:00.000-05:00

i guess i really just had to confirm whatever doubts i had...ok, moment of truth...paeng is saying byebye..this is probably his most subtle way of saying, "marj it's time to move on"...yup, no more i love you's...it started in his emails about a week ago...instead of reading the usual i love you mwah...he had- love, paeng...to some people this might sound weird but i don't know, something tells me that this is IT...then about 20 minutes ago, just to check 'cause i am still on my denial phase ,i heard, ok...mwah..just plain MWAH...ok pathetic na kung pathetic...kakanuod lang kse namin ni nald ng little black book...did you know that that movie doesn't have a happy ending? i mean, when it ended she finally got the job she wanted and met the singer that inspired her but SHE DIDN'T END UP WITH ANY GUY! and Nald told me na i will like the movie...tangna, it scared the shit out of me! maganda raw kse makakrelate ako pero the moral of the story is simply WALANG GUY SA BUHAY? i always think of myself as a self-sufficient kind of girl but i am pretty sure that i need a guy in my life...there are things that my girlfriends or gayfriends can't give me(aside from the thing that you are probably thinking of right now)...
so how did saying and hearing i love you have affected my life...
1. it is an assurance of an active feeling of love...although pag mashado nang gasgas, mukha ng routine
2. corny pero it brightens up my day..after makipagbunuan sa estudyante buong araw all i want is to hear that at least one person na di ko kadugo still cares for me.
3. it is a privilege...di lahat ng tao nasasabihan nun ha...
4. it is a proof na after i thought i did a lot of bad things before, i still managed to do something right..somehow
5. confident ako mangaway..kse khet kaaway ko na lahat, someone still loves me.
6. it makes me proud...specially when you're in a public place
7. it makes me want to go home

ngayon, i am a rude person who hangs out with a gay guy, an exhausted teacher that doesn't have a life after work, the oldest 27-year old in the world (form jerry mguirre), an unappreciated friend, vulnerable and on the rebound, an exgirlfriend struggling to forget the past, and of course, a lost and hard-to-guide soul.

oooops, i slept with a gay man!

2005-10-20T01:01:00.000-05:00

i'm not sure where this is going...ronald and i are spending too much time together and i am really happy about having someone

with me except that he's gay.i'm not saying that i wish he isn't but you know when i said i wanted someone special i wasn't

referring to a superficial kind of relationship nor a sexless lover...yup, he's pretty much everything now- a security blanket, a

constant companion, a confidant, a colleague, a girlfriend.i can tell him everything i want and we can talk about anything we

want without offending each other. the sad thing is ...i know, whoever gets a guy first (him of course) gets to call it quits

agad without second thoughts.this would definitely leave me on a bad spot. I don't know how to protect myself from this other

than finding a guy first.but i don't want a race i cannot win.
it all started when he invited me to go to the gym with him..this month is bring-a-friend-month...after that gym experience, we

decided to eat steak at LOgan's ( i know this is wrong, i meant the steak after gym)...after that we started watching will and

grace (story of our lives!) everyday at his place...eating dinner together before watching...watching movies on sundays (we

always remind ourselves not to watch horror, love stories and dramas)...getting wasted then sleeping on the same bed (before you

think of anything nasty, please keep in mind that i don't sleep with gay men, he does!)that went on for a week and a half...the

only reason that broke the pattern is him leaving for alabama today due to a workshop...and i've never felt life to be this

boring...
ok, before everybody raises their eyebrows, let me say that i am not having a romantic relationship with him...i am happy that we

are better now after all the hassles we brought to each other when we lived in the same house...the only reason that i am having

doubts about it has something to do about our history together...and you know what they say, a lesson is repeated unless

learned...i am still not convinced that we can live with each other again...so i am not at all seriously considering the idea...i

would like to think that i am just giving it a chance...a chance that is full of caution but real. there was never a time when

we were together that i didn't tell myself ,"gosh i wish i could tell ronald this and that!" but deep inside something's telling

me not to say certain things that might ruin our budding friendship...pigil!
i'd like to quote him when he said that maybe there's something special meant for us that's why god brought us back together...a

few weeks back his one year relationship with jeff ended because of a petty fight and i was having problems with rissa...yup, we

were both vulnerable and yup it seems like we're using each other...maybe we are or maybe we're not but the important thing is i

have someone here with me right now...because after your boyfriend stops telling you he loves you, the next thing you want to do

is find (temporary?) happiness somewhere else...i am not thinking that nald and i would be there for each other all the time

although god knows i am hoping..i just want a little attention and a little security..for the time being.

first trip back home

2005-07-25T04:33:00.000-05:00

i arrived almost 10:30 pm of july 6 and hous after that nakauwi na rin ako via paeng mobile. Nauna pa kme sa bahay kse sina mommy and marie ay nawala pabalik. I got a rose from paeng sabay welcome back kaya the 20-hour trip was a'right. Naluluha-luha naman ako nung makita ko mommy and sister ko when we hugged and kissed. Kung di pa nga sinabi ni paeng sa kanila na ako na yung nasa screen ,di nila ako makikilala...not because i lost weight but because of my long hair!
i have been here for more than 2 weeks na and mah god, parang iyakan na naman ito pabalik! Ang sarap ng luto ng nanay ko and proof nun shempre ang patuloy na pagbigat ng aking timbang habang tumatagal ako dito...feeling ko pag nagstay ako dito ng one year, di na ko makakabangon sa kama. Biruin mo naman everyday ulam namin sisig, nilaga, tinapang bangus, kare-kare, fried chicken,etc. bukod pa sa mga kain sa labas: Jack's Loft sa Eastwood, Dad's sa Megamall, Gerry's sa Libis, Cravings sa Metrowalk, Dencio's sa Greenbelt, Mangkok sa Ayala, grabe dami pa! Nakasakay na rin ako ng MRT pero sayang wala akong pic kse baka batukan ako ng mga ibang passengers dun. At ang shopping, hay...tiangge the best! Tsaka ko na ibblog mga nabili ko dito kse baka ma_BIR ako. Anjan din ang rally experience namin ni marie and mommy sa UP...abangan.
May mga good news akong natanggap while i'm here: First, I miraculously passed my PRAXIS tests...yup, both of them. Second, I passed my interview sa embassy and was given a two-year multiple-entry working visa.
Bad news naman: Josh is back in Florida, yun lang.
So yun lang muna...see ya!

2005-06-12T01:59:00.000-05:00

screw you guys, im going home!

It was one thursday afternoon when my dad called and asked me if I still want to go to the Philippines this July. Of course I said YUP. And like a genie he granted my wish. Yuh, just like that. He then told me to surf the net and look for cheap airline tickets to the philipines. I know my dad is famous for changing his mind at the last minute but something tells me that this time it's for real.
I took my Praxis tests today from 7:30 am til 5:00 pm and i am just brain dead. And it is not helping that I feel I flunked my first test (Physics,Chem and General Science). See, I tried to study the whole week for that chem part but I dunno, I guess I just don't have the patience specially when i have to answer 120 questions in 120 minutes. My second test (principles of learning and teaching) is a lot better although I couldn't help but notice that in both tests that I took, I was seated on the 13th desk. as in the number was right in front of me while I took the tests. Is that a sign or what!
I just talked to my sis and my mom over the phone and they are so happy about the padalas I gave them through Paeng. My sister told me that I forgot to include some stuff and I told her maybe Paeng forgot it somewhere so I called him. He obviously didn't sound good when he said hello and I thought, maybe he was sleeping. he then told me that my mom interviewed him about our break up when they saw each other yesterday and he wasn't so prepared for that. i guess, my mom forgot to tell me about that small detail of their talk. Yeah right.
Ok like i said, my brain's dead already so i need to go to bed now. zzzzzzzzzzz

2005-06-08T02:43:00.000-05:00

me and paeng. The happiest moment of my life here in Louisiana.

2005-06-08T02:41:00.000-05:00

six flags sa new orleans

2005-06-08T02:40:00.001-05:00

riverfront

2005-06-08T02:40:00.000-05:00

riverfront

2005-06-08T02:39:00.001-05:00

a pasalubong store in new orleans

2005-06-08T02:39:00.000-05:00

the famous bourbon street.

2005-06-08T02:38:00.000-05:00

new orleans ksama mga flip sa likod

2005-06-08T02:37:00.000-05:00

sa Mississippi...

2005-06-08T02:36:00.000-05:00

asus!

2005-06-08T02:35:00.001-05:00

gulat!

2005-06-08T02:35:00.000-05:00

pa-cuteeeeeeeee

2005-06-08T02:34:00.001-05:00

laki ilong!

2005-06-08T02:34:00.000-05:00

by the pond....

2005-06-08T02:33:00.000-05:00

me and paeng sa harap ng bahay namin.zweeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

2005-05-12T22:48:00.000-05:00

I think it's time for me to make a major decision. There will really come a time that everybody around you will just say,"hey, it's really up to you". I honestly don't know what to do now and i'll probably just leave it to god this time. Maybe i'll ask for signs. Maybe if he's shirt is red on sunday then...I have been talking to my dad and my tita mons lately, asking them what they think i should do. They are telling me the same thing-pagisipan mo muna nang mabuti. I have been consumung a lot of brain cells on it already and maybe it is just too much for my puny brain kse wala pa rin akong naiisip til now. I have three more days left to think about it. Sana talaga may maisip na ko.
let's see, i-weigh nga ang facts. Things that i am definite about:
1. I still love him and although we've been apart for almost two years now, i've always included him in my life whenever i make decisions.
2. I love what i am doing here. I feel that I will never be as appreciated anywhere else. I meant sa trabaho.
3. I love my family more than i love paeng.
4. I am old enough to make decisions for myself. Whether i make a good or a bad decision, the most important thing is that i made it myself.
5. I love helping my family financially.

What questions do i need answered , where will i get those answers from and when:
1. Do i still love paeng? marj- when i get to see him in person
2. Does paeng still love me? paeng- i guess, when he gets to see me
3. Is he telling me the truth? paeng- his eyes always give him away so malamang pag tinanong ko sya face to face...sunday bale
4. Are we really meant for each other? fate- indefinite
5. Does he want me to choose him? paeng- never. i don't think he will ever tell me that.

ok. So based on my analysis, i think we're making a good decision of breaking up. This is because:
1. We are not sure if we still love each other. Two weeks would be a very short time to validate that, i think.
2. He was not happy when i told him i am planning to go home next year for good.
3. We both think that we'll break up eventually. I mean, he is more vocal about it and i know i can see it coming but i have always been hopeful.
4. He knows he can be happier without me.
5. After two years of calling him almost everyday, i heard him say the other night that i never took care of him and he never took care of me. I guess my best wasn't good enough. Hearing him talk and being concerned about me whenever i called him meant taking care of me.
6. We are both selfish and nobody wants to give in.

what if's:
1. pag uwi ko ng pinas, wala pa rin syang gf? Pede pa kaya kme ulet?
2. gusto nya talga ako umuwi pero ayaw nyang masisi?
3. wala akong makitang work sa pinas?
4. di na ko makabalik dito?
5. sarili ko naman isipin ko?
6. makahanap ako ng iba dito? (asus)
7. di ako makapagsalita pag nakita ko sya?

Advantages and disadvantages ng pakikipagbreak ke babes:
1. I will have a chance to find someone else.- di ko naman alam kung mahal ko or on the rebound lang ako.
2. Bababa ang phone bill ko.- tataas naman konsumo sa pagkain, stressed e.
3. I can keep my job.- Sana nga lang i could be the same person and not feel incomplete. Feeling ko this will have an effect on my performance sa job.
4. He will have time to figure out what he really wants.- e pano kung di ako yung gusto nya?

Pag-nagkita-kme scenarios:
1. kiss and hug tas walang usap nang matagal hanggang makarating sa bahay.
2. kiss and hug sabay usap sa airport pa lang.
3. kiss and hug then ipabook na agad sya ng flight pabalik sa kung san.
4. kiss and hug tas solian ng gamit.
5. kiss and hug tas ipakilala ang bago kong syota.(wish)
6. kiss and hug tas irap.
7. kiss and hug tas happy like before. parang walang nangyari or walang mangyayari.

ok, tapos na ko magmunimuni. 3 days pa naman e. Babala sa babasa: this is my own way af analysing my life ok? so wag magalit kung involved man ang babasa. This is my own version naman e and if you don't agree e di magblog ka ren.garr.

wishing star, bday candle and chain letters

2005-05-11T00:16:00.000-05:00

i really don't know what to feel right now. My life is about to make a

drastic change. Mawawalan na ko ng paeng.
i still couldn't believe that he's really breaking up with me. i guess

i just need to face this problem this time because i know i have been

ignoring it. I knew he would do that eventually. I guess i should be

thankful that he's doing it after two years and not earlier than that.

I just love him so much and the mere fact that after his visit here i

won't hear him say i love you anymore kills me. I still can't stop

blaming myself for leaving him alone sa pinas two years ago. I just

wanted a better life for my mom and my sis. I just don't want my mom

mangutang everytime we need money. I know naman na paeng is

intelligent and i'm quite sure he understands. He's just not built for

it. And like he said it's selfish. Sabi nya we're both selfish naman

daw in a way. The only thing is, i can't remember the last time naging

selfish ako. MAybe now kse i don't want him to leave me. Yun selfish.

They say when you love someone, set him free. If he comes back, then

he's yours but if he doesn't then he never really was. so sige, isipin

ko na lang yun.
For almost nine years i never wished for anything else but to be his

girlfriend; everytime may wishing star, bday candle or khet chain

letters. My only wish had always been to end up with him. And my wish

came true and i just threw it away. Sabi nila, i'll find someone

better. Sana nga. I just want na when i get old, i would be able to

say pa rin na i have no regrets. THat everything that happened in my

life had its purpose.
Before i talked to him over the phone, i was still hoping that i could

change his mind about it. I was quite sure i can. But now i know that

he already made up his mind specially when i told him that i'm still

not coming home next year. Unfair nga naman sa kanya yun. I really

don't know kung kelan ako uuwi. Maybe after i get my greencard or

maybe even never. Ngayon feeling ko ayoko na umuwi.
It scares me now to go home and see him with another woman. It kills

me to think na a few days or months after namin magbreak, my friends

will see him dating another girl. Moreso, that he'll get married.

Nakakatakot tlaga. And the fact is, im sure my old seld would want to

go home after thinking of htese scenarios. Somehow something tells me

that my life isn't just paeng. He is just,or should i say was, a part

of it.
Maghahibernate muna ako.

sex,sex at walang kamatayang sex

2005-04-29T00:47:00.000-05:00

This is hilarious! Be sure to read the warning at the bottom. I d idn't change a word! I'm not messing with the Sex Fairy!

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
=============

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
=============
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
=============
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
=============
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
=============
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
=============
7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
=============
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
=============
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
=============
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
=============
This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in the basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The "Hot Sex Fairy" will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on.

If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn't)? Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.

Do not keep this message. This message must leave your e-mail in 96 hours. Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days.

happy birthday spotsky!!!!

2005-04-29T00:39:00.000-05:00

post ko lang kse parang maganda. Nga pala, happy birthday marie!!!!!!! i love you. Shet, ang tanda ko na naman...gerrrr! Read this and isipin mo si tootooot. Okay lang yang, constantine.

...Is it really LOVE?...
When we claim that it's love that we have for
someone, are we correct?

Something to ponder upon.....

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is
your voice caught within your chest?

It isn't love, it's LIKE.

You cant keep your eyes or hands off them, am I
right?

It isn't love, it's LUST

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?

It isn't love, it's LUCK

Do you want them because you know they're
there?

It isn't love, it's LONELINESS

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?

It isn't love, it's LOYALTY

Are you there because they kissed you, or held
your hand?

It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE

Do you stay for their confessions of love,
you dont want to hurt them?

It isn't love, it's PITY

Do you belong to them because their sight
makes your heart skip a beat?

It isn't love, it's INFANTUATION

Do you pardon their faults because you care
about them?

It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP

Do you tell them everyday they are the only
one you think of?

It isn't love, it's LIE

Are you willing to give all your favorite things
for their sake

It isn't love, it's CHARITY

This is LOVE....

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?

then it's LOVE.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?

then it's LOVE.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your
soul so deeply it hurts?

then it's LOVE.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible
mix of pain relation pulls you close and holds you
there?

then it's LOVE.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of
who they are?

then it's LOVE.

Are you attracted in others, but stay with them
faithfully without regret?

then it's LOVE.

Would you allow them to leave you not because
they want to but because they have to?

then it's LOVE.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your
death?

then it's LOVE.

Now, if love is painfull, and tortures us so, why do
we love?

Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this
agony?

Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerfull death of self? Why?

The answer is so simple cause it's......

LOVE

"It is such an addiction that even people who
dont have love, wish to experience it and share it."
Back

2005-04-10T22:55:00.000-05:00

yumyum's missed all the fun early today.

2005-04-10T22:54:00.000-05:00

tongue out

2005-04-10T22:53:00.000-05:00

yumyum's cute pic in jail

2005-04-10T22:52:00.001-05:00

one sunday afternoon

2005-04-10T22:52:00.000-05:00

samantha posing

2005-04-10T22:51:00.000-05:00

moody danny

2005-04-10T22:50:00.000-05:00

eric is the sweetest 13-yr old in the whole world.

2005-04-10T22:45:00.001-05:00

rissa and samantha

2005-04-10T22:45:00.000-05:00

danny with the snake. He was the first one to see it.

2005-04-10T22:44:00.000-05:00

Brit with a gun, Danny with a stick and Eric staring. They were trying to get that snake after they shot it.

2005-04-10T22:42:00.001-05:00

a closer look

2005-04-10T22:42:00.000-05:00

this is the picture after they shot the snake. medyu malaki sya and poisonous.

2005-04-10T22:40:00.000-05:00

ahazzzzzzzz! sa pond sa may likod ng bahay namin. this is the scariest thing ever!

truth or dare

2005-04-01T06:05:00.000-06:00

last night, i drove 90 miles from where i live not knowing where to go. I am upset and couldn't do anything right that's why i decided to leave the house for a while. I need some fresh air. i just want to stop thinking about it muna. I want to be back where we were. I wish i could drive to Antipolo mula BAstrop. I am upset because i don't know what will happen tomorrow. At least i dont have to be too hard on myself anymore. If I had only known earlier...life is full of surprises. OOOOps, di na pala bago yun! o sya, tulog na ko.

playah!

2005-03-19T23:59:00.000-06:00

I am in love with the thought of loving someone. Who wouldn't be? I like taking care of someone and in return being pampered. I like to feel feminine. I want to feel that there's another person stronger than me or at least one person who can make me look weaker. I like to hold hands with someone and feel protected. I like kissing as it is when you actually feel IT.Rhythm is what i call it when both of you just understand each other's movement by merely touching each other's lips. It's just magical. I like being involved in someone's planned day either through movies or dinner or simply hanging out with each other. I love to talk with someone about things that i have probably told my friends a million times yet i feel that one more response is uniquely important. I like to listen to someone's hard day's work and feel that at the end of the day I am his must-have reward.
I love the feeling but the feeling won't be the same if it's not the right person. The right person gives you the right feeling. Mr. right NOW can only be good for NOW. You can't fool yourself for a long time. You can't feel happy as long as you know that you were once happier.
o sya tulog na ko...

winner ito!

2005-03-15T23:58:00.000-06:00

singit ko lang na nanalo ang bastrop high sa physics sa literary rally...1st place lang naman kme sa district which includes BHS' rival Neville and my rival, ronald's school DELTA. So susugod na kme sa Baton Rouge sa april.actually wala na kong pakialam kung matalo kme dun basta gusto ko lang number one kme sa district. Si Leslie Hamlin yung student ko na nagrepresent sa physics and syempre ako lang naman ang nagtuturo ng physics sa BAstrop kaya kinongratulate ako ng principal na si thrower. Ilalabas daw yun sa local paper kaya isscan ko para proud ako lagi...made my week! Uy, joke lang yung competition ke ronald ha...di ko sya kalevel in the first place...MAS MAGALING AKO!GARRRRR. atin atin lang yan ha.

ang tipo kong lalake

2005-03-13T22:39:00.000-06:00

i have a checklist of what i want my man to be. it's just that more often than not, i tend to ignore the list and tell myself that well, he can change. But who am i to think that i can do wonders? here's my man's description, just so i won't forget anymore:

1. Smarter than me. I am not, in any sense of it, a geek but i want someone who can talk to me with sense. I want my man to know what i don't know. It just makes him seem more powerful and me, weaker.

2. Responsible. I want an independent person who is responsible enough to take care of himself and me. A good, stable job is a must and knows how to take care of his job.

3. Sense of humor. I want someone who can make me laugh. I know i have a good sense of humor so it is really hard for me to laugh at others' jokes sometimes so if he can do it, he's mah man!

4. Financially stable. A guy who is wise about money is a perfect partner for me. I spend a lot and I want someone who can control me. I need someone who can make me want him more than anything in the mall.

5. I want someone who can make decisions for me. When we go out on a date, i don't want him to ask me what movie i want to watch or where we're going to eat. If it's a bad decision then so be it. I can have fun just being with him anyway.

6. I want someone who can be a man when i want him to and a li'l boy when the situaion calls for it. SOmeone who can pamper me and wouldn't mind being pampered.

7. I want to have a clear constant communication with my partner. I want to be able to tell him what i want or what i don't want without fear of losing him.

8. God-fearing. This should've been number one. I just forgot it. I want someone who has a stronger faith than i do and who can make me closer to God.

9. Someone who values his family. They say that a man who loves his mom dearly could be a good husband.

10. I want someone who can let me be my own person. Someone who doesn't mind being overshadowed sometimes and will be very supportive of my endeavors.

2005-03-09T00:36:00.000-06:00

ok...it's been a while since i last blogged so...wala lang...papaantok na naman ako. here's what's on my mind lately:

2005-03-09T00:35:00.000-06:00

1. Darating daw si Paeng sa May. Actually excited ako at the same time scared kse baka yaw nya na ko (charot)...

2005-03-09T00:34:00.000-06:00

2. Ang ganda ng 2005 Mustang na ice blue sa Northpoint. V6 nga lang at nde V8! pero tama ang tita ko, ang mahal ng gasolina para magv8 noh. Shet! dream car talaga...gash

2005-03-09T00:33:00.000-06:00

3. Malapit nang matapos ang paghihirap ko!!! ilang buwan na lang wala nang pasok..ilang linggo na lang wala nang physics!!!!dalawa na planning periods ko!!!!waaaaahhhhh!!!!!!

2005-03-09T00:32:00.000-06:00

4. UUwi ako sa JUly..kinakabahan ako baka mataas ang expectations...wala akong pera leche! yung pagpunta ko nga lang dun, abuloy lang sa kin e...garrrr...wish i am rich..er

2005-03-09T00:31:00.000-06:00

5. Ang cute ng lovestory ni MArie at ni bleep. wala pang ending.

2005-03-09T00:26:00.000-06:00

6. matatapos na bayad ko sa healthpross before the start of next school year!!!!akalain mong ngayon ko lang naisip yun....suffer muna ang padalang pera, k?

2005-03-09T00:25:00.000-06:00

7. nakakabiset pa rin ang ending ng the forgotten...ok, dalawa yung ending na nakita ko: the first one was mala MIB, second one was mala Smallville...Sayang, ganda pa naman ng build up...garr...

2005-03-09T00:22:00.000-06:00

8. wawa yung aso ko, naiwan sa ulan nung monday....buong araw...basang sisiw sya pag dating ko....huuhuhuh!im not cruel to my dog ok? malay ko bang uulan e ang araw araw nung umalis ako ng bahay...lecheng weather to..

2005-03-09T00:21:00.000-06:00

9. Magkikita na naman kme ni NAld sa Friday sa birthday ni Kevin....Sana makakanta kme ng fsvorite song naming TONIGHT I CELEBRATE MY LOVE....harhar

2005-03-09T00:16:00.000-06:00

10. Masarap ang feeling pagkatapos magsimba..sana magawa ko linggo linggo...

the simple life-update

2005-02-10T18:45:00.000-06:00

After my 27th birthday, a confrontation with ronald, flu attack and two parties sa bahay namin, ngayon lang ako nakasulat ulit. Yup, the ronald story is finally over dahil na cash in na check ko and tumahimik na rin sya. I celebrated my birthday 3 days after the real date kse may pasok and although malamig at umuulan, nag grill pa rin si daddy erwin. Nagpansit si tess, nagfried rice si rissa and ako, hmm....nyek, wala akong signature dish...nagvideoke after and then humayo na. It felt like it was my first time to celebrate my birthday dito sa Louisiana. I don't ever remember celebrating my birthday last year espaecially when all I can remember is crying over a side table na ayaw iwanan ni silver...kse nga naman nakaayos na yun sa room nya.hokei. It is nice to celebrate my birthday even if I thought I was too old to do that. Nung actual birthday ko was a quiet celebration with rissa. She gave me a gift na parang folding chair na pedeng bed (i wish I have a picture kse di ko majustify sa pagdedescribe) and i opened her gift 12mn nung 24th. so pagkagaling nya sa school mga 7pm na nun she drove me pa to monroe para kumain sa waterfront grill. Shempre may cutie na waiter dun who sang a happy birthday song and who gave me a slice of cheesecake kse nga birthday ko.Haba ng hair ko nun. incidentally, nakausap ko rin yung cutie neighbor namin (may asawa na to, so wala lang) kse tinigil nya yung sasakyan ko just to tell me na yung sweater ni yumyum ay dinala nung aso ng kapitbahay namin sa front yard nila.heheh! yun lang naman. going back to waterfront, si rissa ay bumili ng isang pack ng marlboro lights and nagyosi ako kse birthday ko naman (ooops, may magagalit dito!). Salap salap. So nagpakababoy kme tas paguwi ginamit namin yung gift nya na meron din sya (only darker blue) at nagbilad kme sa bwan habang umiinom ng michelob(kunti lang) at nagyoyosi. Thank god the weather was fine during that day or di namin 'to maeenjoy. We took some pics pero di pa nadedevelop kaya walang pang proof. Pero I'm sure they were good kse I was happy when they were taken.
After nun nagkitakita naman kina david para lang magvideoke. Syempre alam nila yung mga songs na di ko man lang inisip na may nakakaalam. Pati yung in the ghetto na naririnig ko lang kay cartman sa southpark.
A week after, we surprised danny (rissa's boyfriend) with a party kse sya naman ang may birthday. dami na namang food- spaghetti ni rissa, teriyaki, pansit, crispy pata, at brownies na naging cookie. Superbowl sunday pa nun (like I care) kaya masaya.Walang videoke nun kse nga superbowl...wawa mga kids, di nakakanta....hehehe!
tapos ngayon two days na ko absent because of flu. HAy! sobrang nakakamiss mommy ko pag may sakit ako. Pag asa pilipinas ako and I am not feeling well, patutulugin ako ni mommy sa kwarto nya at syempre happy kse may tv dun. MAgluluto si mommy ng nido soup para kumain ako. Tapos sasamahan ako ni paeng hanggang makatulog ako. Grabe, I miss those moments. Kaya sobra akong stressed everytime i get sick here. I become even more sick kse i miss my family lalo. I admit na I am a baby talaga pag may sakit. Nga pala, si yumyum tumakas sa gazebo at sinira pa yung screen kagabi. Aayusin na lang daw namin ni daddy erwin sa weekend. kala ko tlaga nawala na baby ko at naiyak ako nung umikot ako ng village at di ko sya nakita. Nandun lang pala sa malaking bahay sa tapat. Buti na lang glow-in-the-dark yung tali nya. PAthetic.
So..yun lang naman nangyayari sa buhay ko lately. sana may pictures na next enrty ko.

langya namang bakla to

2005-01-24T16:57:00.000-06:00

This happened last saturday when I checked my yahoo mail. I received an email from Nald about the bills that i have to pay. Take note that this letter was sent to Tess and Rissa as well, at least according to him. This is what he wrote:

Ronald Cruz Marj

Bellsouth Bill
Local -3.49 -3.49
Internet 21.96 21.96
Long Distance Plan 10.65 10.65
Long Distance Calls 23.61 156.91
Taxes 5.07 5.07
Deposit (Less) -75.00 Entergy 86.55 86.55
Deposit (Less) -75.00
Peoples Water Co. 18.90 18.90
Deposit (Less) -20.00
Apartment Costs (Call Anita for Questions)
Room Door Repair 50.00
Blinds 50.00
Replacement Lock 50.00
Repaint 37.50
Bathroom (Not Cleaned) 25.00
Varnishing 25.00
Vent Hood 70.00
Deposit -200.00
Apartment Costs (C/o Ronald)
Vacuum Steam Rental 27.96 27.96
Labor Costs 60.00

TOTAL 254.51

All receipts are included in the packet except the costs from Anita and the labor for the steaming of the carpet. Most of the deductions from the apartment were caused by you. Anita charged us for your unclean bathroom, your broken bedroom door and the blinds that Yum Yum chewed upon. You did not leave your house key so she was obliged to replace the lock. The amount for the repaint was 70.00 but I charged you only for half because it’s due to both of us smoking. She deducted everything from our deposit leaving us with nothing but 50.00. I believe that this is not right that those expenses should be deducted from me too. I believe that your apartment costs should be deducted from only you and not the both of us. I already talked to Anita about the breakdown of the costs so you can call her if you do not believe me. I need the money not later than January 31.

Failure to comply will force me to submit this case to a small claims court. I will definitely bring this to court due to all the inconveniences you have caused. Do not let this come to that end because you will just end up paying much more. I am sure the last thing you want is going to court because you don’t want your life to be in direct scrutiny. They might just discover another case…

Ronald

I don't mind paying him any amount actually. I just didn't like the choice of words nor the way he was acting presumptious about me not paying him. I know I shouldn't act on impulse and so I tried to call him. He didn't answer the phone so I emailed him back. I didn't like my letter. Nevertheless, i am proud i wrote and sent it. Here is my response:

ronald dear,
I totally agree with you. You shouldn't be charged
for the blinds,the room door repair,the bathroom and
the varnishing JUST AS I SHOULDN'T BE CHARGED FOR THE
VENT AND THE REPAINTING CAUSED BY THE BURNT PAN. All
in all, I should be charged (and this is if you can
give me a receipt) $212.96 (not including labor unless
you paid the same amount) I talked to anita about the
key and she will give you back your 50.00 dollars for
that. Another correction is the amount of my deposit.
The apartment's deposit is $300 and I gave an
additional $100 for yumyum. So your share of the
deposit is 150 and mine is 250. So all in all, yours
is about 132.96 (including the repainting). This does
not include any labor costs which i am not sure why( i
need that straightened up too.) So considering that
you have 150 deposit, I honestly do not think that you
should complain receiving 50.00. That's more than you
deserve, don't you think? And you even have a 50.00
dollar check from anita since I told her to give you
that(cause I can turn in my key). By the way, half of
70.00 is not 37.50. LAst time I checked, it’s 35.00.

I also want to know which packet you are talking about
because I haven't seen any yet. Should I get it from
your house or are you going to mail it? Do you want
me to pay you or the companies? I need receipts and I
couldn’t stress that enough.

I'm not going to forget my responsibilities and you
know that, I am just avoiding you. If you will keep
on threatening me about a case court, I will
wholeheartedly embrace it. I'm sure they would love to
hear about a teacher who's having gay sex in THE SAME
apartment that i was in.Don't ever threaten me. If I
were you, I will stop spreading those nasty rumors
about your exroommate/exfriend. It's just so pathetic
and low. I said I am paying and you know I am capable
of doing just that if it means not having to deal with
you (or your sex life) ever again. Even now, you
still think it's always about the money. As far as I
know, I haven't broken any of my promises yet so my
credibility is commendable. So what's the problem?

About the other bills, I am okay about paying them
before jan.31 so you can celebrate your birthday with
a blast JUST AS LONG AS I GET THE RECEIPTS before that
date so i can personally check it.

Advance happy birthday!

By the way, I sent also this same letter to other
people just like you did.
>

I know I should've just let this pass and i know he is so desperate now BUT who can ignore such a letter. I am sick and tired of him and I am happy now without his loud presence. I guess, he just can't accept that. I like the way my life is right now and i just hope that one day he could be with his.

2005-01-24T16:36:00.000-06:00

bigay todo..sana marunong kumanta..